Is it normal she doesn't want to see me?

53% Normal
12 Comments

It's been a couple months since I've last seen a friend of mine saw her 5-6 months ago for a couple hours last time I was in the area. We text daily so made plans of hanging out again when I was there, so a month ago I made arrangements to spend a week in the area and will be leaving in a week and now she doesn't want to see me! we've been good friends for years, we dated for awhile it didn't work out I am still in love with her but just treat her as much as a friend as I possibly can. Last time we saw each other we did sleep together which does complicate things but we talked it out long before I made arrangements. She says I'm important to her, and we text daily but she just refuses to see me in person. Is that normal?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 55 votes (29 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Well we won't be meeting up or hanging out at all while I'm there, she actually plans to go back home for a few days just after I arrive which really gives me the idea she's running from me. So I really don't know just going to let it go and accept our friendship just isn't the same anymore or possibly over I'm not sure, but I've invited a friend along with me now since she's never been and hopefully still enjoy my week away.

    Thanks guys for trying to help.

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  • Steve92
    11 years ago

    She is confused about her true feelings, and may think you dont love her. Tell her the truth, confess your love and have a beautiful relation.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Give her time.

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  • redoctober
    11 years ago

    Just stalk her. Always works!

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Um... she's probably seeing someone else so she doesn't want to jeopardize that relationship by sleeping with you?

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    • RoseIsabella
      11 years ago

      Yep.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      To .be honest, I wish that was it, she nor I are dating anyone or have been with anyone since we broke up. well I have, she hasn't. And I'm not going to be anything but a friend when I fly over I've tried to make that clear so she doesn't worry

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      • Sog
        11 years ago

        How do you know?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          That's the kind of friendship we have, we are open with each other. If I'm dating someone, I always tell her, and if she likes someone, she tells me about him.

          She is single, i think it might be because she spends most of her day texting me or at home chatting with me online. When I try to convince her she should socialize she just turns it down saying I'm always home as well.

          We've been close friends for years, open and honest with each other, I hope I can sort out what's wrong.

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  • paradox90
    11 years ago

    If you want to sleep with this woman, just don't be her friend. I don't know why, but there are a lot of women that try to stay friends with those who loved/liked her, but were not able to get what they wanted.

    Maybe you should stop texting her.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I don't particularly want to sleep with her, I guess I'm more the rational type than I am emotional. last time I assumed we were just friends which we were so I treated her as a regular friend regardless of being in love with her. She asked me to treat her as a friend and I did even though i found it very hard at the start as I was used to speaking a certain way with her but anyway... She was the one that made the sexual advances and I asked her a few times if she was certain this was what she wanted before taking over. After when I was back in my own country we discussed it a few times where i apologized for not keeping the boundary between us as I'm more rational than she is.

      I value our friendship and wouldn't do anything to wreck it, including crossing the line with her.

      That's also the reason for the post apart from sleeping with her then, I treat her as a friend and I don't understand why she refuses to see me now.

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  • ProseAthlete
    11 years ago

    It's normal. It's not particularly happy news, but it's normal. She's trying to distance herself from you. She might even be caught in that catch-22 of feeling too comfortable to leave but too unhappy to stay.

    You're still in love with her, and if she isn't in love with you -- and sad to say, that's probably the case because people in love will bend heaven and earth to see one another -- she might feel uncomfortable around you. Do you touch her often when you see her or otherwise act boyfriend-ish? That would explain why she texts but doesn't want to visit.

    It'd be nice if she gave you an explanation, and you can ask her outright for one, but you might be better off cooling the relationship (including the friendship) with her. You deserve someone who wants to be with you in person, and she deserves the distance she seems to need.

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