Is it normal or is this abuse?

15% Normal
18 Comments

My boyfriend and I have an awesome realtionship (for the most part) and usually get along. We do fight sometimes but I guess that is inevitable for two people living together. My question is regarding his temper and more or less his words. When he gets mad he just loses it and says the most hurtful things, he tells me he hates me, that im being so ridiculously woman like and annoying he thinks he'll throw up blood, that im a moron, that i fuck everything up, that he shouldnt rely on me for anything, etc. It's just soooo harsh. Even when he brings me to tears he will roll his eyes and say ' here we go with the water works' though I obviously can't help it. He has even threatened me a few times, but felt bad later on when I told him that it scared me. Even when I'm extremely angry with him i'd never say such things, i've actually never told someone I HATE them because it is just such a strong word. Is this normal behaviour? I know guys tempers are different then womens and he is my first serious boyfriend. I'm very close to his mom and we have talked about his behaviour, she tells me his grandfather was the exact same way and it is a social disorder. He is very specific. Some times he is flipping out for the dumbest of reasons.
PS Generally he is a very loving, snuggly, cute, funny and playful man. It's only when his temper gets the better of him.

Voting Results
15% Normal
Based on 91 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • Omega-Claws
    13 years ago

    I wouldn't say abuse maybe he is bipolar? He should see a doctor or go to a psychiatrist (I think I spelled that wrong)

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  • IisNotSoNormal
    13 years ago

    He is mentally abusing u. No doubts there.

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  • BoredGuy
    13 years ago

    you are a bunch of morons here. start hitting her? abusing her? he is just pissed at her.

    If she don't like him she can break up with him. he is perfectly fine for a amn, what you want a man or a pussy?

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    • Bbygirl.
      13 years ago

      idk if yr reffering to my comment also,
      or jst the 2 ppl below mee...

      but i get what you mean, that he was pissed at her...
      but is a guy considered a "pussy" jst cuz he loves & cares about a girl? I think No. & If he does love & care about her he shouldn't be blowing her off when she has tears coming down her face bcuz HE can't control his words & anger. He should never cuss at her, there's other ways to get his point across.

      Btw not trying to start an arguement, Jst a reasonable debate ;)
      That's my opinion frm a girls point of view.

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      • BoredGuy
        13 years ago

        I never said a man is considered "pussy" when he cares about a girl. Not at all. But he can be angry.

        I have to admit he is being a bit over the top, specially if she is not pretending the tears(happens, a lot)

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  • xino00
    13 years ago

    "PS Generally he is a very loving, snuggly, cute, funny and playful man. "

    yet he verbally abuses you and your ass

    i wouldn't call the asshole loving.

    soon he may start hitting you.

    better gtfo.

    no partner should be verbally abusing someone when his temper goes up

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  • dom180
    12 years ago

    Definately abuse. Leave him straight away. Or at least get him some anger management, he definately needs it.

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  • JadedByTheNorm
    12 years ago

    That is not cool at all the way he emotionally abuses you, and it is not normal. You should leave him while you still can. (The abuse could easily change from verbal to physical and even murder if it hasn't already). He doesn't deserve to be with you. Honestly, people have said hurtful things to me in the past, and I would rather be beaten to the point of passing out than to have to replay those words in my head, and I'm talking about feeling the pain 15 or more years later. My grandfather broke down crying (the only time I have ever seen him cry) as he was telling me a story of something hurtful his father told him like 60 years ago and told me he wishes he could have had the satisfaction of watching his father die. As a matter of fact I am crying right now, because I feel sorry for you. I hope you are not in this situation anymore.

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  • chocolatenugget
    13 years ago

    too long to read

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  • Annapunk7
    13 years ago

    What he is doing to you is called verbal abuse. He needs to get help because if he doesn't, he will NEVER change!!!

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    Respect is a two way street for sure. I'm not saying it's okay for anyone to speak that way.

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  • CountryRoads
    13 years ago

    I would never let a man say those things to me. It's disrespectful...pussies are disrespectful; real men can control their words when speaking to a woman.

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    • BoredGuy
      13 years ago

      This is as true as, women can control their words when speaking to a man.

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  • rulerofthenight
    13 years ago

    well it would depend if he generally loses his temper and starts cussing out anyone then he simply has an anger problem but if he is only yelling and calling you names when he gets angry then he is verbally and mentally abusing you. If it's only you he is treating this way then he is choosing to, He can control it but he doesn't because you let him get away with it and you stay with him even whenhe treats you like this.

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  • -Smallz-
    13 years ago

    Anger brings out peoples Hidden thought that they kept bottled away...

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  • Bbygirl.
    13 years ago

    Kind of seems like emotional abuse when he can't control his anger. I've been in a similar situation, & I think u just really need to put your foot down. Cussing at each other should NeVeR be allowed in an arguement. That's disrespecting the other person. Tell him that you never say those things to him, so he shouldn't be able to say them to you. & Hopefully he starts to care More about your feelingss.
    Good Luck :P

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  • dappled
    13 years ago

    I have a friend like this. He was a bully when he was at school and now I think he just does it for effect with his wife. He thinks it makes him look like he's in control where really I don't like this about him, and he knows it. For all that, though, his heart is usually in the right place and he does listen to reason. It doesn't sound great, but maybe you have to accept it as part of his make-up.

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  • bleach_baby
    13 years ago

    I dunno, I think abuse is a strong word for cussing someone out in an argument. I think he clearly has a problem controlling his anger and realising whats acceptable to say and whats not, but if you dont argue that often tbh I'd put up with it and maybe get him some anger management

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