Is it normal or controlling that my boyfriend does not like me to do..

18% Normal
16 Comments

My Christian boyfriend of over a year does not like me talking to ex's, guy friends from back home, using facebook (even just to read), having ex's on my facebook page, cursing (even if I am just repeating something), or listening to rap music. When I accidentally do any of those things, we usually get into an argument. He loves me very, very much and says he's just jealous because I am so pretty, plus I have casually dated more previous to him. He also is very religious, so that plays its part as well. I know he loves me, and I love him, and although those things started fights the first time, I think progress has been made (mostly because I have stopped completely doing that stuff). But every so often, he'll ask me "Have you been on facebook today?" I ask why and he says he's just curious. Then he'll keep asking questions upon questions. Like "how is checking it different from using it?" and so on. It makes me feel ashamed though, IDK why... Anyways does it sound like its normal?

Voting Results
18% Normal
Based on 76 votes (14 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • DannyKanes
    12 years ago

    When he gives you a bottle of lotion and tells you to run it on your skin.......gtfo

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      no, actually he doesn't do that... lol

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  • ariannel
    12 years ago

    No, thats not normal. He's sounds very controlling. If he's like this now, what will he be like in a few years or if you're married??

    What he's like right now are your warning signs. Think very carefully if you can live like this. I couldnt, no matter how pretty he thought I was.

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  • Charmo
    12 years ago

    No. He has no right to control your life.

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  • cheesedoodleguy
    9 years ago

    he doesn't love you, he loves controlling you. If you love someone you trust them and let them be themselves.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Haha no rap music because... what? You might decide you like black guys instead of his stark white ass?

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  • emotionalwreck4ever
    12 years ago

    TBH a christian person should not have jealousy because it says in the bible that jealousy is a sin.

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  • ebonysky
    12 years ago

    This man has problems that your love and you changing yourself WILL NEVER FIX!! He will never get better and he will never change. Do not stay with him. Do not have children with him. Break up and get away!

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  • Sweetz
    12 years ago

    Don't allow it to escalate any further. There are many great guys out there that would be willing to make you happy. If a guy doesn't make you feel good about yourself then he isn't worth the time. Obviously you two have some differences... And the longer you stay by with him the more controlling and possessive he will get.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Thank you, one of my problems is that I maybe justifying his actions in my head because I don't want to loose him. I go to a college across the country and I think I'm scared of being alone. A lot of the other guys there are entitled ****. But I digress.

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  • ChasingAfterPond<3
    12 years ago

    That is definitely not normal, he is trying to control your life and certain things that you do. He should accept you for who you are, don't let him control you. I could understand why he would be jealous of ex's, sometimes guy friends, but even then, its just a guy friend, you are bound to talk to other guys. He appears to be way too jealous if stuff like this happens on a regular basis. The facebook thing is ridiculous. Also, just because he is extremely religious does not meant that he can tell you what you can and cannot do because he doesn't do it. I'm not trying to discriminate against religious people, as I am one myself. Don't let him make up excuses to control you and say that he is not and that he's not doing anything wrong. You can either try to talk to him about it, re-evaluate the relationship you are in, or break up with him. Sorry if this comment is too harsh.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      no, it was very nice. thank you. definitely resonated.

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  • rin
    12 years ago

    Worst-case scenario you get married and he never lets you see your family or friends, go to work or school.

    He sounds manipulative in the way he keeps you doing what he wants you to do by making you feel ashamed and guilty.

    NO NOT NORMAL WATCH FOR MORE SIGNS.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      You are right. We have talked a lot about marriage, and it doesn't look good... Many differences... :(

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  • Sabby
    12 years ago

    It's not controlling it's just talking to your ex's bothers him

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  • ccjigsaw
    12 years ago

    That does sound controlling, but if those aren't that hard for you to give up, then I don't see anything wrong with it. It could be that he really loves you and jsut doesn't want you to go to hell?

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