Is it normal not wanting to have sex?

57% Normal
25 Comments

Hi :) Ive been with my girlfriend for 2 years now, I have never liked sex, I find it boring and overrated, also I feel strange when I have sex with my girlfriend as she have been with 11 guys(sexually), not including me, before you start saying "Yeah, but how much girls youve been with? You sexist!" This number botters me, but I want to protect her, I think she needs someone to prove that he is not like others, hopefully i am that guy.

She is my first everything, first kiss, first girlfriend, etc. On the last two months I stopped having sex with her, I think I dont have to do something I dont want to do, I did it on past times to please her, but now I think this is not ok, I dont need to be pushed to have sex, its not right. My girlfriend says im gay, or if I want to have a threesome with a girl friend of her and lately she said that im like the guys she used to fuck , she said that I only want her to have sex with (I dont really understand why she said this) but the thing is that I just DONT WANT SEX. So my question/questions are:
Is it normal to be like me(not want to have sex)?
What should I do or say?
Is there anyone who is on the right side? I mean, am I wrong or her?

I have had friends of mine say that im the guy that all girls want, because I dont want to have sex all the time, I prefer going to the movies, go for an ice cream , I think those things are better than having sex, so if other girls say that im the "dreamed" boy , Why my girlfriend wont see it that way?

Thanks for your responses, I hope I havent insulted any of you, and if I did, Im sorry.

Voting Results
57% Normal
Based on 53 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 25 )
  • VirgilManly
    9 years ago

    It's not really a matter of who is right and who is wrong. The issue seems more about compatibility.
    Sadly it sounds like the two of you aren't sexually compatible.

    If a woman told me I was gay, I'd fucking leave her for someone else.

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    • illusion466
      9 years ago

      Like a nice guy? :)

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  • Mikjall
    9 years ago

    I answered no. It is not normal. But it's not bad. I'm asexual, so I don't experience sexual attraction, nor do I find sex intriguing in the slightest...but I'll acknowledge that it isn't the norm. The issue here is that if she feels she has to have sex, you feel you have to not have sex, and neither sides are happy with compromise, then the relationship needs to end sooner than later.

    There's nothing wrong with you (or her), but just make sure that you preface all of your potential relationships with the fact that you won't be having sex. It might be a deal breaker, sure, but it helps you find those sexually compatible, it's honest, and it beats having to break up with someone after the relationship has developed and has become more serious. No relationship should have someone feeling sexually depraved nor feeling forced into sexual situations. If you can't feel comfortable compromising on this issue (I can't either, no worries), then don't...just again, tell people before the relationship even begins. It's only fair.

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  • Bethina
    9 years ago

    I think you may be Asexual. In humans this means a lack of sexual attraction and/or a low interest in sexual activity. So instead of sex, they are more interested in close romantic relationships, much as you seem to be.

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    Sex is usually an physical affirmation of affection or lust. The fact that u dont enjoy it is odd. If u dont feel like somerhing is wrong with u then fuck it, its just who u are. Whaddya mean betrayed? Like "THIS is what everyone has been going on about?? Lamee.." I bought my girl a toy for when I'm not around. Shell get over it once she tries one.

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  • Lonely2
    9 years ago

    I have completely lost sexual interest at different times.....sometimes I have completely lost interest in someone but still have it for others....sometimes its very temporary.....so the question is do you still get turned on by others just not her or do you not want sex with anyone at all?

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      I want to fuck every girl I see but the problem is that then I think about them and its kind of weird thinking on what they would do or how they would act. Its like if I just wanted to have sex with them once and then im sure I will dump the other girl. This sounds horrible, I know, but thats how I feel

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      • Lonely2
        9 years ago

        I want variety too...and am not sure I could even be monogamous...although I am still open to the possibility....maybe you still have not found that person either

        You have to try to figure out who you are....for some people monogamy is pretty much impossible ......some people love one person but want to have sex with others...

        Now if you have a pattern of getting mometarily disinterested in all your relationships but the spark comes back , then maybe wait it out....

        Its all about trying to figure yourself out...what you really want...and who you REALLY are...

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  • Nokiot9
    9 years ago

    It sounds like you need some sexual affirmation. Maybe you just aren't excited by ur current partner. Maybe the type of sex you have doesn't turn you on. You are in ur sexual prime, trust me, you are gonna look back when u are like 60 and say "damn I wish I would have screwed more while I had the chance to". Does sex just not feel good? Or does it just not interest you? If you are depriving your woman she is gonna find it somewhere else, whether its a toy, or her hand, or some other guy, shell manage. I'd talk to her about it and see if what's what.a healthy sex life is important in my opinion.

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      Sex feels "ok" its not the thing that everybody promise (on my opinion) I felt like I was betrayed hahah it was like "uh? Thats all?". I think there are more important things than sex, I see sex as a trouble starter, most problems come from it. We have talked and I have told her that I can buy a dildo but she doesnt want that, she just wants to do it , nothing else

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  • sexysonofsam
    9 years ago

    You might have a bit of a mental block due to her previous encounters. Try fucking some other girl and see if you still feel that way. A threesome might be a bit stressful for you right now, find out who the other chick is that your girlfriend suggested and see if she would be willing to help out your virginal arse.

    If you on the other hand enjoy masturbating more than sex, maybe you should speak to one of your guy friends and see if he would be willing to try out a little experiment with you. Start with something simple like mutual masturbation, if that flies take it to the next level and see if you prefer that more than fucking your girlfriend.

    Having had eleven other boyfriends I think she should know how to pleasure her man seemingly this is not the case...the problem could very well lie with her!

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      I also want to fuck other girl to see if I feel this way but the problem is that I dont know how to get to that stage. My girlfriend has some "techniques" that she learnt with other guys but some of them cannot be applied with me, as I dont like receiving oral sex. I think the problem relies on me

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      • sexysonofsam
        9 years ago

        Maybe you should try giving oral sex instead of receiving it...I know I like giving oral!

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  • tripw7
    9 years ago

    You need to have a talk. It won't be the most pleasant but it will be necessary. Obviously, she wants and needs sex. Let her tell you exactly what she likes. Sucking tit, eating her out, maybe in the ass. Maybe just straight into her Vagina. If you don't find out what she wants and satisfy that need, you probably will not be able to keep her. She will find someone else that satisfies her needs.

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      I have talked with her and she says that she wants the "real thing" (me going inside) , I suggested a vibrator but she doesnt want that :/ ... She makes me sad and sometimes cry.

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  • Syturio
    9 years ago

    dump her, she is not the girl 4 u

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  • Gspyder
    9 years ago

    Sounds like she has some trust issues with guys due to past relationships. It also sounds like she has a pretty high sex drive that you're not able to satisfy for her. Either bite the bullet and do it for her happiness, let her get a fuck buddy on the side, or end it so you two can find people more compatible.

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      But why she doesnt trust me? I mean, I think that I have prooved that I dont see her as a sexual slave/toy

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      • Gspyder
        9 years ago

        If it is trust issues it has virtually nothing to do with you. People just take time and effort to move past them.

        The real issue here is probably the difference in your sex drive. Sex might not matter to you, which is fine and really she should respect that if she cares for you. But for other people it is important. Sounds like she's been extremely active in the past so suddenly going into a completely dry relationship is probably maddening to her. You need to sit down and have a talk with her and tell her exactly how you feel about sex and see if she can accept it or not. Put the ball in her court.

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  • TareBear20
    9 years ago

    Maybe it's time to move on and find someone who appreciates those qualities in you.

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  • KeepsakeDoll
    9 years ago

    Your priorities are different and it sounds like she's pressuring you and putting you through a guilt trip to get what she wants.

    On another note, your girlfriend does have needs so you might have to do the chore to please her just once in a while. Although, I don't like how she's treating you. A partner shouldn't insult the person they love just because they're not getting what they want from them. Should've talked it out.

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      We have talked about it, but she doesnt understand me, she says that she needs sex and she dont care how I feel, I have gave her options, like buying a dildo and she says she wants the real thing.

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  • polopo
    9 years ago

    My girlfriend and I both of us have 21 years old, I dont know if this help on anything.

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  • the_audacity
    9 years ago

    Fuck her !!! Dude its your girlfriend! !! Sex is boring if ur not doing it right...

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    • polopo
      9 years ago

      Sex is overrated

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