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I am 23, I am talking to a girl who has a two year old son, she is also 23. I am worried if I get into a relationship with her that the ex will become a problem, any advice
But do you LOVE her? My advice is to take it slow, don't make any long term commitments yet. If she asks why you aren't moving with the relationship faster, explain to her that you are uncomfortable and be HONEST.
Don't worry about outside people worry about you and how you feel and how she feels.
"I am worried if I get into a relationship with her that the ex will become a problem"
I lol'd at this a little.
My ex has a kid to me and I want her to be in a relationship, let some other sucker support her and the kid. I want a life, not kids and a mortgage.
Oh dear, looks like your lack of fatherliness pissed someone off. :P I fixed it for now anyway.
I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing. If the relationship wasn't working you did the right thing by the kid by leaving early into things rather than trying to stick it out and having a messier breakup later on. I have two friends at the moment who are trapped in relationships they didn't want because the girls ended up getting pregnant and now they feel obligated.
In the situation of my one friend in particular it's depressing. This girl is absolutely nuts, has probably cheated on him with about 5 different people, and their baby is already being exposed to them fighting like the old North and South. I feel their situation would be infinitely better if he just left her; he could stay a part of the kids life if he really wanted to I'm sure but I don't wanna see their son caught up and hurt by all their drama.
Basically what I'm saying here is no one should judge you for making a difficult decision.
I did try to stick it out in the begining because I felt pressured to. But every time I looked at them both I got this intense feeling of disgust like "how dare you invade my life". I never planned to have kids, she stopped taking the pill without telling me so I'd get her pregnant. When I found out what she did I wanted to kill her right there on the spot. People do judge me on it, I wouldn't say it was a difficult decision for me though. I have always been self centered, there's not one girlfriend I didn't cheat on and not one friend I didn't bully. I'd just rather go through life without making excuses, just openly admit my wrong doing and continue on, no compromising with others and their gross, unnecessary feelings.
Relationships with people who already have children are way more complicated than otherwise. The baby daddy is only one thing on a long list of problems you need to tackle for the relationship to survive.
This will literally turn your life upside down.
Never date a girl with a child. You'll always come second and she'll rub it in your face that her ex is still their dad. The child itself will also make it clear that you aren't his real dad.
Speaking from experience, my gf has 3 kids to 2 fathers. The second father became a problem early in the piece due to jealousy sending her very inappropriate text messages. This was soon stopped by her. Is this comes a problem, mention it to your girl that she needs to do something about it don't go out and try to teach the ex bf a lesson. Respect her and the child. Show that you love her and the child and he'll get the picture. If you need to take matters into your own hands, do it behind closed doors but no violence.. And always remember this... Your with his kid, you have the upperhand and he's going to feel shitty about that. And never deny the kid to the father even if he is a dead beat. Its a strange dynamic to get use to but it can be done.
I have 3 kids yet I will never date a dude even if he had one child! Its normal because I want him all to myself just as you would want her all to your self!
It makes sense why you are worried. You also might not like kids but you do the women with the child. So take into account if you get married you will be responsible for those children. If the children must deal with the divorce you will have to either deal with rejection from the children or back lash from the father. You are right to be worried. When you date a woman with kids you have a lot of things to take into account. This is a very touchy situation. If you like kids and would be willing to be a dad AND you love her go for it. If you really do not like kids or do not want that responsibility or hassle of being a STEP DAD I would advise you not to. I wish you luck in any case.
I think it's normal, if you haven't been with her long, then I'm just like you, I'm 23 and I don't believe in dating someone with a child because I would want to avoid the drama that comes along with it. Also, it depends, if the father won't mind. But Anyways, I'm a girl so my opinion on dating guys with men, is a no. I would want to date a guy who has no children, who would want to create a family with me and start something beautiful with me, not get in the middle of two other people.
Go for it. Every girl will always have ex's who could possibly be a problem. Everyone's situation is different but I'm dating a guy with a two year old and it gets complicated at times but it's nothing terrible (:
I wouldn't do it. I'm a pussy. I'd get attached and I don't know how I would handle myself if she turned out to be a psycho bitch and leaving her was my only means of safety and happiness. Maybe date her but no relationships...