Is it normal not to understand how love works?

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12 Comments

I don't get how some people say they've found their true soul mate and I think mutual love doesn't exist, aside from family and friends.

What are the odds that you're your crush's crush? If that happens, okay, it's mutual love - or at least a mutual feeling of affection.

But then for it ot be true love, instead of only a 'mutual feeling of a ffection', we'd have to meet all the people in teh world and then find the one we like the most AND have them think the same about us and that is absurdly unlikely.

When someone likes someone else and they end up dating or marrying or whatever I think one of them settled for the other. Person A decided to love Person B because Person B loved them and not because Person A really loved person B.

Something else I don't get is how some people have known each other for a long time and then all of a sudden they fall in love. If you've never known a side of that person and when you do know it you fall for them it's alright, but how do best friends fall in love after being friends for a very long time? If they know each other well, they would have already fallen in love with them, wouldn't they?

Voting Results
55% Normal
Based on 22 votes (12 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • BluntsRolled
    11 years ago

    I feel what your saying OP. I don't really believe in 50/50 mutual romantic love either. It's usually factors of attraction, lust, and as you said, one person settling for the other.

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  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    I don't think that they're only a few people in the world who you can be in love with, I think there are loads.

    And sometimes people do settle, which is one of the many reasons people break up. But, I think it's also important to consider how long love lasts. You can be crazily in love for years, and then it just disappears. Feelings are unpredictable.

    And how is romantic love so different to the love you have for a friend?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I guess the difference that actually matters here is that you can have loads of friends and like some more than you like others, but only one (depending on your culture, but I think my point is still valid anyway) lover.

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  • TooPure
    11 years ago

    I can confirm a true love after spending 2 years together and still being in love each day more and more.

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  • Mmmpfh
    11 years ago

    There are plenty of people you can consider a soul mate. A soul mate would be someone you feel a true love for and who returns that love.
    People who settle like you said usually end up in unsatisfying relationships

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Yeah, but I don't think there are that many soul mates. I mean, maybe there are like...I don't know, a million soulmates for each person - even so the odds they'll meet one of theirs aren't that great.

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      • Mmmpfh
        11 years ago

        Well, I for one feel I've already experienced a soul mate. I'm not with her anymore (I dont think just cause you are soul mates that it's going to work out, there are still issues like distance and such that can occur). It's not fairy tale stuff but hey. I for one think it's real, but everyone has different views on love and there are plenty of people out there who form relationships for other reasons than TRUE love. Like maybe the sex is insanely good.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Okay, but I'm not discussing why stupid people get together for stupid reasons. I'm talking about true love and soul mates and stuff.

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          • Mmmpfh
            11 years ago

            Ya I know, but what I mean is it exists for some and doesn't for others. It all depends on your views regarding love.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              11 years ago

              Hm...Yeah, I guess so, but what I'm doing here is probably trying to convince people that my opinion about it is more accurate than theirs...Or trying to get someone who doesn't believe what I do to explain their views to me.

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  • VioletTrees
    11 years ago

    You don't have to be your crush's crush. Sometimes only one (or neither) person has romantic feelings at first, but they date and those feelings show up and grow over time.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      But then it was kind of a random choice that they had a date in first place. So...why would you want to have a date with someone you don't even have feelings for?

      But then I think the feeling Person A has for Person B is stronger than the one Person B has for Person A. To like each other equally they'd have to be their crush's crush oor know everyone in the world and then yadda yadda what I said in the original post.

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