Is it normal not to tell my dad that i had a baby even though i'm 25?

Last year in April, I had my baby about a month and a half before I turned twenty-five years old. It's currently been ten months and I still haven't told my father that I had a baby, even though my mom (my parents have been divorced for 20+ years), and a few of my other relation have known because I told them. The reason why I am keeping this from my dad at the moment is because he didn't tell me that I had a half-brother from him, and I ended up finding out via his boss several years later. I guess that my father didn't know that he had a son from a previous fling until the child was five years old (I was nine at the time this boy was five);however, I was about eleven or twelve when my dad's old boss told me that I had a brother, and even though when I confronted my father over what his boss told me he was honest and told me the truth. But, knowing my father, if his boss wouldn't have said anything, he would have kept this a secret from me probably until either the day he died or until my half-brother would have showed up at his door one day out of the blue. Now, I understand that two wrongs don't make a right, but my father thinks that it's still a joke that what he did to me, not telling me that I had a younger half-brother, and still laughs about it when I've told him how much it hurt me that he didn't just tell me when he found out. Also, unrelated to this, he's lied to me and kept things from me more times than I can count, so I just feel like giving him a taste of his own medicine. Also, we're estranged since I haven't lived with him or really been around him, except for a handful of times, since I was about eleven or twelve years old.

Voting Results
39% Normal
Based on 71 votes (28 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • jeebley

    You should never use a child as an emotional weapon. I know your 10 month old is completely unaware, but it's just a bad, spiteful thing to do. Your Dad may be a complete jerk, but in a way it's an opportunity for you to be a better person rather than descend to that level.

    I mean, if ties with your Dad are completely severed and you know you'll never see him again, then you wouldn't be contacting him. But from what you say, the main motivation seems to be spite and payback which to be honest, is an abhorrent thing to put your child in the middle of. Things like this can be remembered for a long time.

    I don't think you're a bad person; it's just what it sounds like to me.

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  • thegypsysailor

    What a childish, spiteful bitch you make yourself sound.
    I didn't know life was about keeping score. Actually, for most of us, I don't think it is.

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    • Cellbiologyphiliac

      Well, my father knows of her existence now because I took into consideration what others have told me, and surprisingly enough he wasn't that upset about it.

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  • omphemetse

    Yes u should not ever use your child as a emotional weapon, your father made mistakes don't repeat it, and forgiveness is a way

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  • TheGodThatFailed

    I haven't seen my mother for 12 years so I vote yea.

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  • Chefeetaboopers

    It makes sense.. but, having never had a grandpa and only one grandma, I'd say let your dad know about the baby but express your feelings to him.

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  • charli.m

    My father didn't tell me about my half sister til she was six months old. Then he introduced her to me and my brother as our birthday present for that year.

    He still hasn't told me about my older half brother. He'd be early to mid thirties. I mean fuck, what if I'd ended up dating my half brother and not known?

    Your dad may be a dick, but that has nothing to do with your child. If you have no intention of your father being involved in your child's life, and you have no ccontact with him, that's one thing (that's the boat I'd be in) but otherwise, what point do you prove? None.

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  • college

    I would only not tell your father if you think he'll be a danger to your baby, if not, you should let him know he has a grandchild. Be better than him!

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