Is it normal not to have sex with my wife coz she says im so abnormal

Is it normal not to have sex with my wife because she says that im abnormal in my sexual fantasies of her having sex with other men.. everytime we have sex i often tell her to fuck the guy the way she fucks me ..do all those kind of stuff to her ex boyfriend who become her bf when we are already married for 21years..it turns me on when she says ..yes , i want to fuck my lover and be on top of him..because her lover is well endowed than me..