Is it normal not to feel sad after a grandparent dies?

76% Normal
5 Comments

My grandmother died about a month ago. i didn't feel sad afterward. i didn't really feel anything at all and it didn't really register that anything had happened. I didn't feel sad when i went into the hospital room to say goodbye to her and she was on tubes and stuff to keep her alive and was really thin. I didn't feel bad for my dad(her son). I wanted to feel sad but i didn't. I didn't see her that often(maybe once every other week) at the end of her life and she had dementia so i knew what was coming. i feel like anything could happen or anyone could die and it would just pass over my head. is it normal that i wasn't sad?

Voting Results
76% Normal
Based on 95 votes (72 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Avant-Garde
    12 years ago

    It's normal. People feel/express their emotions in different ways. Some people emotionally numb themselves for a variety of reasons.

    Was your family pissed that you didn't express your emotions? I remember one of my uncles died a few years ago and I really didn't give a shit. I don't get along with my family and I barely remember knowing this guy. We went to the funeral and I couldn't understand why everyone was so upset and I felt like they were acting over-the-top. I was only interested in the concept of death and the process that had taken over this man's body. It was kind of exciting, but later on my family got mad at me for not showing any "emotion", they treated me like a monster.

    I admit I have a very hard time expressing emotions sometimes and understanding them. But, I did show emotion when my friend died of bone cancer. I didn't cry in front of anyone, but I cry on and off when I'm alone. I emotionally numb myself for a variety of reasons. One of which is to avoid showing "weakness".

    Like I said before, we all express/react to things differently. It doesn't make us bad people just because we aren't as "emotional" as the rest of the population. I think you're quite normal and if anyone has a problem with it, then tell them to stuff it:)

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    • Bannef
      12 years ago

      Your family thinking you're a monster is a really shitty thing to do, but at the same time you don't get to say they were acting "over-the-top." like you said, everyone responds to loss, and express their emotions differently.

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  • Charmo
    12 years ago

    Hey, my grandma died recently too! Although I don't feel bad about her death, I do admit it that the effect it has had on my mother is upsetting.

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  • Pisslan616
    12 years ago

    When my grandad died I felt a bit detached.

    The only other losses I had suffered before the had been pets and my upset hit me pretty instantly when they died (although I was a fair bit younger back then).

    I was of course upset about my grandad but I felt like the emotions were somehow not mine. It hadn't really sunk in.

    It's been about a year now and I still find myself crying about it sometimes. It just took time to properly feel it.

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  • FocoUS
    12 years ago

    You're not alone in this I had a friend with a similar situation. I think you mentally prepared yourself for your grandma's death.

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