Is it normal not to cry when someone close to you has died?

Ok so my dad died on the 2nd of feburary, 2011 of throat cancer. My mother and father were divorced and lived in seperate houses. I lived with my mum because it was closer to everything as my dad lived in the countryside. I would visit him every fortnight and stay for two days then go back to my mums. I loved my dad very much, he was my bestfriend, my role model and my mentor. I was at the hospital for two weeks straight with the occasional going home for clothes, I would shower at the hospital and eat their disgusting food just to make sure my dad had company while he was in the hospital. The day he died I went home to grab clothes, At first I declined when my mum asked me if I wanted to go home then I thought maybe I should we'll only be gone for about 15 minutes. When I got home i packed some clothes and then the phone rang, My mum came into my room and said my father passed away just after we left so we went back to the hospital to say our final goodbyes. At his funeral At least 50-60 people were crying when we has taken away in the Hearse with bagpipes playing as he was taken away, I stood there the entire time not crying. It's been a year and although I'm still sad and still cannot believe he's gone and that I'm going to grow up without him,I still can't cry.... Am I a horrible son?

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80% Normal
Based on 56 votes (45 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • abominus566

    i think your emotions work differently, not everyone feels the same thing at the same time. everyones different, with me i dont really have much to feel cause my emotions arent exactly all there anymore. im not insane im just different. oh sorry about your dad by the way

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  • nixon02

    As a student of health and medicine it is very likely that you are in shock. It is very likely that while you can logically deduce that your father is dead, your brain just can't accept it and you've gone into shock. Your last statement "I cannot believe he is gone" is pretty indicative of the shock that you are experiencing.

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  • forever_anon

    Of course not. Some losses are too deep for tears. People deal with their grief in different ways.

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  • coolio75650932

    it shows how strong you where he probobly told you to be strong many times through out your life and that you not crying shows how you love him and you respect his teachings so when some one close dies stay strong and dont cry.if people hate you for it so what? they are just cry babies.so yeah totally normal and any one who says your nor normal is either mentaly retarded or about to die :3

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  • moomus

    My dad died nov 2010. He had lung liver and pancreatic cancer. I still haven't cried. I loved my dad and spent most of his last days in hospital. Hadn't lived with him for years as I left home at 21 and was 34 when he died. I don't know why I haven't cried as of course I was very upset, and I have cried at comparatively trivial things since. Doesn't mean you are a bad person though. I think we just handle things in different ways.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress

    " I was at the hospital for two weeks straight with the occasional going home for clothes, I would shower at the hospital and eat their disgusting food just to make sure my dad had company while he was in the hospital. "

    You spent your time helping take care of him, spending as much time with him as possible. You gave him your time and love. That right there shows just how important he was to you - more than some leaky eyeball would.

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