Is it normal not being able to get over someone you love/loved?

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2 Comments

This question is of a more personal stance than the others have asked around here, so to put it simply: I can't get over someone.
I can't get over a girl I had dated for four years, we had even gone as far as the little engagement stage. I dated her all through High School, and things were great. Though, in the last few months we grew distant.
I know a lot of it was my fault, it was after my graduation and opposed to going to see her as we had planned I made the mistake of trying to earn my father's approval. Not only that, but I admittedly had made the biggest relationship mistake of all time.
I took her for granted, I was over confident that we wouldn't break up and that little things would always be forgiven. The little things evolved in to bigger things such as the night of my graduation. We grew more and more distant, and finally she ended it with me. She claims she still loves me and always will, but then why aren't we together?
I'm confused honestly, after a while I had managed to convince myself that it's foolish to linger and we had started talking and becoming friends again. Over time we grew apart again, and this time it's on her end due to her going out and doing this and that more than she had in school.
And now, we haven't talked in what feels like forever. I try and push it out, but every now and then she pops in to my mind.
And, when she does I can't get her out. I just can't let go, even though I know odds are her and I won't be together again. I made mistakes, and tried to make up for it only to fail.
I feel like I have an obsession, but I don't know. When I think of her I think of what could have been, I think about what I should have done and what happened eats at me constantly to the point of me even coming to tears. I don't know if this is normal or not, I desperately need some kind of advice or anything. I'm confused, and feel like I'm ripping myself apart over something I probably shouldn't be.
But, I just can't stop thinking about her and how much I screwed up.
I messed up and I know it, and I feel as if my world has come tumbling down as a result.
It's been a year since the break up.

Voting Results
85% Normal
Based on 40 votes (34 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    Considering that the two of you were together for so long, it is only natural for you to feel this way.

    But honestly? This is the hardest part about relationships and it is what people fear the most out of marriage and relationships, growing apart. It happens, people change, people grow and sometimes they grow apart.

    But you have to move on, man. If she really wanted the relationship to work out, then she would have put more effort into making it work out and if she DID and you still refused it at the time, then you have to take the wound and move on.

    Now you know what happens when you take a relationship for granted and it is better that you learn now then 20 years down the road, being married to the next woman of your dreams and having to come home to suitcases because you not only took your wife for granted, but your entire family, children and all.

    This shit happens and it is normal. You can't expect to just "get over" someone that you spent a good fraction of your life with, at least not at this point. But one of these days, you will learn to forgive yourself and move on.

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  • Moonbow
    11 years ago

    People usually don't "get over" someone they love until they find someone else.

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