Is it normal my mum behaved like this

I don't mean to sound like a harsh person, but I think she was trying to help and from your post, it didn't really sound like you poured your guts out. She said that you're beautiful and all that. I'll admit the possessed thing is a bit much, but what else was she suppose to do? I think she's a little upset that you can't see yourself as beautiful, like she can. Maybe saying that you're possessed was the only rational conclusion that she could have conjured up in order to explain your behavior. Like you said, your family thinks that you've recovered, and frankly, if I was a parent I would be glad to hear that and would kind of deny it if you were still plagued with anorexia. Of course I'd try to tell you that you're beautiful, like your mom did.

If there's anything that I've learn from my self made depression phase is that people can't read your mind. Subtle hints do not equal a cry for help. If you want help you have to tell people what is actually going on with yourself. If I may make a suggestion, go to the mirror and try giving yourself a compliment. I know that it may sound difficult, but once you come up with one good thing about yourself, physically, the rest becomes easy. I know you can do it, and I'm sure you're a beautiful girl like your mom said, I hope that someday you'll be able to see that.

No, it's not normal and from my experience, actions like that usually worsen the situation. I had a friend to treat me badly when she found out about my Anorexia and I ended up losing all respect for her. Her words hurt my feelings and worsened things. I didn't recover until some acquaintances of mine made me realize what I was doing to myself. Some people will never know what a problem is like until they go through it themselves.

I'm so sorry she said those awful things to you. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for loved ones to treat people with eating disorders in insensitive, damaging, and sometimes outright cruel ways. What she said to you was not ok.

I'm primarily bulimic but flirt with anorexia, and I've gotten similar reactions from friends. Some people seem to think that we should just be able to be "fixed", and they get very upset when they can't "fix" us. It's a really selfish thing to do, because it turns conversations that should be about our eating disorders into conversations about their frustration and expectations.

If you want to talk to somebody who's going through some of the same things in regards to the eating disorder, you can email me at [email protected] You're not alone. Stay strong. ♥

i would seek physiciatric help

Hey, sis. First of all- I've been where you are, and I understand the discomfort that comes out of a sitation like this. Only YOU can determine how you're feeling, and no person on earth has the right to tell you "no you're wrong", to punish you, humiliate, scare, or even just scold for feeling a certain way. And it stinks to see people here are doing it. The last thin I want is to imply that I know your life and feelings better than you! I apologize in advance if that's how it seems. Often though it's simply that our gut feeligs are right. YOU alone know how your makes you feel, whether it's righ or wrong. If deep down you really believed it was normal ーwould you have to ask at all?

What a lot of people don't understand is that when someone is in pain or they've got an eating disorder, it is NEVER as simple as "just don't". And telling us we're bad, implying that they've done wrong because of an eating disorder? Not only does it make things worse, but it is NOT normal and should not be treated like acceptable behavior. Especially from a parent.

I'm so sorry you've been experiencing these things. Our culture underestimates and minimizes pain like this to the point where we're often accused of making a bad choice instead

It sounds like your mum doesn't know how to deal with this situation. Hopefully when she gets over the shock she will calm down and do her best to help you. In the mean time if you really want help you should go and see a doctor, psychologist or councilor. They can not only help with your eating disorders more but also help your family to realize that it makes it a lot harder to help yourself when you are afraid of making other angry. Of course you will have to be aware that your parents will be scared for you and will probably get angry and say things ( like the possessed comment) that they most likely don't mean.

Sounds like she's just tired and fed up with it. She just wants a happy, healthy, daughter.