Is it normal my mom chastises me so much?

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9 Comments

Sorry if this is long but I'll try to keep it as short as possible. First I want to say that I do love my mom and we have always been close, but we have our moments where we don't get along. We do a lot of travelling together - back in June I met my long distance crush for the first time. I thought everything went fine, and he and his friends said they wanted me to come back. Recently I picked a date (a whole MONTH in advance) to go back. I like to see other points of interest while travelling as well, not just the guy I like. Anyway, the other night my mother started chastising me about him, saying he came off as 'rude' just because he was bloody sick that night (he played a gig anyway). We DID conversate quite a bit and he was nice, she just wasn't there at the time. Then she was making it sound like it was entirely my idea to schedule another trip, and that it would be 'awkward' if I went back just to see him again, even though I said that wasn't the only reason. I didn't even say we had to hang out, I just said it would be nice. Also she said before that she wanted to travel again, and conveniently changed her mind just the other day. I think after a while I did convince her to see my point of view, but bloody hell it took forever to make her get off her high horse.

Then she went off on one about my anger issues, which I have always had but she just now chastises me. I yell at inanimate objects which I know is silly but it helps to vent my anger. Then when I point out that someone else acts even more ignorant and childish she rolls her eyes. Just to be clear, I am not a mean person. I don't yell at people unless they yell at me first or something. The past couple of days she's been nice though, like nothing even happened.

So anyway, what do you think? Is it normal I get chastised over basically nothing? Do I have the right to be upset or am I overreacting? Be honest, but no mean comments please.

Voting Results
64% Normal
Based on 28 votes (18 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • JessicaUnrated1991
    10 years ago

    Yes you have the right to feel how ever it is your feeling. It's normal to get annoyed when a parent is coming down on you. I hope she comes around and can ease up on you.

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  • TwoThumbs
    10 years ago

    Why start a relationship on a bad foot? It's one thing to be in a relationship and have to move far apart for the short term but to start far away? It's just silly. Be a friend from far away and work on a relationship if you guys get closer. Otherwise you're missing out on a world of fun, dating, and great people that are only miles away.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Actually I know someone who met her current husband on the internet, and they were states apart. Also, a friend of this guy I was talking about in this post was dating a girl 450 miles away, but I think the main reason they broke up was the age difference (she's nearly 4 years older than him). Distance doesn't have to be a major factor but it depends on the people. You ARE right to a degree. This guy only contacted me first like a couple times, so maybe he does forget I exist when we're not talking. It was mostly his friends that initiated contact with me. They were actually really supportive, but of course I don't know if he ever liked me back. I'm kinda picky but maybe I'll eventually like someone I can see more often, we'll see what goes.

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      • TwoThumbs
        10 years ago

        Picky? Again you're dating a guy in an unsuccessful band who's hundreds of miles away. What stats are we being picky about? Looks? Because all of that fades. Find a guy who's smart, funny, ambitious, and enjoys working out.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Looks don't matter, it's mostly personality traits. I almost dated a guy 30 minutes away (not a considerable distance, right?). He was very nice at first but he became a bit obsessive, wanting to be in contact 24/7. I didn't mean to lead him on but I didn't know he'd get so clingy. I actually thought it could work out.

          Back to this guy this post is about; his band is unsuccessful but they are trying to get well known so I wouldn't call him unmotivated. Society sucks and it's hard to be successful but somehow spoiled talentless bitches get famous. Anyway, I thought he was nice until my mother put things in my head. She raised me so of course I take her words seriously. He always texted back unless he was at work, but rarely texted first so I wonder if he forgot I existed when we weren't talking. It was actually his friend that suggested we all hung out the day after the gig. Again, distance doesn't matter but it depends on the people. Maybe he's not the one for me, but it doesn't mean he's right for any of his other friends that are girls just because they live closer, just saying.

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          • Anonymous Post Author
            10 years ago

            Also, this may sound ridiculous but I'm kinda afraid to like someone else. I have a slight fear of rejection and I don't want to get chastised anymore. But maybe I'll get lucky (not in that way lol). Trying to stay positive.

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            • TwoThumbs
              10 years ago

              Learn to be ok with rejection. Life is full of it. But life is fully of comeback stories and success as well. If you're never rejected it means you've never tried. The most successful people in the world have been rejected MANY more times than they have succeeded.

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  • TwoThumbs
    10 years ago

    You have the right to your feelings and she has the right to hers. You sound a bit childish...and judging by what your'e saying I'd assume you're still a teenager or in your very early 20's. Date someone closer. Your mom probably doesn't want you dating some loser that's in a band. But she doesn't know how to tell you that. I'm not saying that all guys in bands are losers by the way...but she probably feels like this guy isn't a driven motivated guy that "she always wanted you to end up with". Capiche?

    Also, it's long distance and you had only just met him. Note to you. Date someone closer...its much less complicated and much better for you in the long run. That said...you're young and don't care. Either way...your mom is being critical of you because you're yelling at inanimate objects... There are indeed other ways to deal with your anger that are probably a bit more healthy. Also, it sounds like when you argue...you are passionate but also are a name caller (?) or a bit childish? Maybe she is as well? Either way. She doesn't like the guy. She gets a bad vibe.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I'm 21, turning 22 in a month. I DO think LDR can work, but you're right to a degree, the closer you are the easier it is. I worry that she cares more about getting grandchildren than my happiness though. I want to make her happy but it's not up to her.

      I do admit I'm kinda crazy, but I'm not childish because I don't exaggerate my problems for sympathy or throw hissy fits and start hitting people over something stupid like petty comments. I know of some certain other people who do that, so that's why I used that example.

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