Is it normal my life is so boring?

I have the most bland, banal, monotonous suburban existence. It's nauseating how pathetic I am. I disgust myself. I'm always alone. I've never had friends and I'm starving for human connection. To me, going to fucking Rite Aid with my mother is an "outing." I'm driving myself insane. I don't have the right to ever be upset about anything. I've got it made. I can be anything I want if I work hard enough. The whole world is at my mercy. I'm white, middle class, and I like to call myself intelligent. But i hate school. I love learning. My biggest fear is being ignorant. If it weren't for school, I would read and write all day, every day. About the things I am actually interested in. They determine exactly where I go and exactly what I do. I'm expected to give every ounce of my strength and intellect for years upon years, all for an ultimate goal that I don't even want. I live in terror of eventually being free but continuing to loathe every second of my waking life. If i voiced these concerns, they'd just be written off as "angst" anyway. I can hear how stupid and naive I sound. I just want to be taken seriously. All i can do is fantasize about killing myself and then feel crippling guilt about it, because my life is so great. I don't know.