Is it normal my husband watched porn after we had sex?

Erectile dysfunction can be a bitch, because it's one of those things where the more you worry about it, the more likely it is to happen. Physiologically, an erection happens when a normally restricted blood vessel in the groin relaxes and more blood flows into the penis that can drain away from it. All sorts of factors can stop that blood vessel from relaxing, and the psychological stress of general anxiety, tiredness, just the general pressures of life are often the underlying causes.

If he's losing his erection while you're having sex - in other words, while his penis is receiving what should be pleasurable physical stimulation - then I have to wonder if he's one of those people who stays too much "in his head" during sex rather than being able to relax, forget about the rest of the world for the moment, and be in the moment with you. If there are unresolved tensions between the two of you - and from what you say, there do seem to be - then his mind wandering off to think about those can also result in him losing his hard.

If he regularly has erections in the morning or you notice them while he's sleeping, then that would suggest there's nothing wrong with him physically.

Which is a positive thing in one way, but not so great in another. Dealing with the physical abnormalities that cause erectile dysfunction can be very expensive, the results are not necessarily all that great, and not many guys like the idea of a surgeon messing around with that part of their anatomy. But on the other hand, dealing with psychological issues that cause erectile dysfunction can be painful in other ways, therapy can cause stress in relationships when difficult truths are confronted, and lots of guys simply aren't willing - or not emotionally equipped - to deal with all that, so they flat-out refuse to engage with counselling.

As for his use of porn, it's very difficult to guess what's going on in his head that leads to him doing this. Maybe there's another sort of performance anxiety going on and he feels that he's not able to make you feel good, and fantasising about women on the screen is just a whole lot simpler. Maybe he gets off on kinks which he knows - or at least believes he knows - you just wouldn't be interested in or are physically incapable of providing. Maybe he's got the Madonna-whore thing going on in his head, so he believes a good wife should be pure and uninterested in sex, and deep-down, he feels that the only women who want or enjoy sex are whores. Maybe his use of porn through his life means he's trained himself to view sex as being about him getting his rocks off with a completely passive and untouchable woman, and he finds it impossible to shift his focus to include you without losing his erection.

I fully understand why you feel hurt, bewildered and concerned by all this, but I really don't think you're going to get any definitive answers here. You have the right to feel that your life-partner is open, honest and fully engaged with you and your relationship. You also have the right to expect him to do his best to give you sexual pleasure just as you try to provide that for him. If all that isn't happening, then the two of you really need to talk to a professional counsellor about the issues you're dealing with and how you can try to make life better for each other.

What was the sex life like before the marriage?

Some guys get to a point where they can only orgasm to porn. Try dirty talk like " i want your hot jizz inside me! " Find out what type of porn he likes an emulate it. Tell him what you like too. Its possible hes a jerkaholic and just prefers his own hand.

Man if there is a huge problems already (no punt) this early on then I don't see this marriage ever working. Sex never gets better as your marriage goes on, it always dies down so if you guys are already starting to build on a floppy foundation then I hate to think where you will be in as little as six months.

That being said, I have never been married so I am no expert. Though I have been in long relation ships, I have never had a time where I couldn't get a boner. Still watched porn, they didn't care and would join in with me but I like to be alone with my porn, I just feel weird.