Is it normal my girlfriend left me over having hepatitis c?

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So a few weeks ago, I found out I have Hepatitis C. Apparently back in 1984 when I was a baby, I had a blood transfusion, and the blood I got was infected with Hep C. I was born with congenital heart defect, so I've been through a lot of heart operations. My girlfriend of 5 years was well aware of my heart condition. She knew of all the heart surgeries I've been through. When I told her that they found Hepatitis C in my blood recently, then she pretty much freaked and started treating me like I had done something wrong. It's not my fault I got Hep C. It was lying dormant in my body after all these years until they finally found it a couple weeks ago. I thought telling her about it would be the right thing to do. I understand that she could be afraid of whether she caught it or not. I mean I don't want her to catch it either, and we've always practiced safe sex. Plus I'm already going to receive treatment for it in about 2 weeks from now. We've been together 5 years. I had no idea she would act this way. She started saying horrible things to me like "stop calling me" "leave me alone" and "I never wanna see you again." She left me. I'm really depressed about it. She was very understanding about my heart condition, but when it came to the Hep C, she just got up and left.

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Based on 6 votes (3 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • BleedingPain
    6 years ago

    Thats like dumping someone because they got diagnosed with cancer. They feel that the person will be a burden to them.
    Anyone who doesnt support you through a time of medical need is not a person you should be with, no matter how much you love them.

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  • rayb12
    6 years ago

    Well sounds like a blessing in disguise then. It may seem redundant to ask now but would you really want to date someone who would leave you for having Hep C? Good riddance, go get some new ass

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    • vagman30
      6 years ago

      I honestly didn't think she would leave me. I thought she'd be understanding just like how she was understanding of my heart condition, and still stay with me.

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      • rayb12
        6 years ago

        OK bro but the point is you were wrong about her.

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  • Nickvey
    6 years ago

    you havent had a life until an ex-wife has poked you to see if you are still alive. get cured and then thank god you didnt marry the cunt.

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  • Pumpurrnickel
    6 years ago

    There is no excuse for the things she said to you. That's not normal for sure. It's not your fault you have it.

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  • Boojum
    6 years ago

    What I read is that she was understanding about your heart condition since that didn't have any possible implications for her personally, but as soon as she learned that you had a medical problem which could potentially affect her health, she bailed.

    You may have been together for five years, but frankly it sounds like it was a pretty superficial relationship.

    You say you thought telling her was the right thing to do. Clearly, it is the responsible thing to do, since you've been having sex and you could have infected her. But the way you word that comment suggests you considered _not_ telling her, and you only mentioned it because you believed she would be understanding. Knowing what you know now, if you could go back in time, would you still tell her? If you wouldn't, then I think you need to consider just how much you care about the woman.

    Is it possible she didn't believe you when you said that, prior to your recent test results, you didn't know you had the virus? That might make her reaction more understandable.

    Maybe she knows Hep C is bad news, but she doesn't know much more than that? Maybe she doesn't know that it's very rare for it to be passed on by sex? Maybe she doesn't know that it can be treated and usually cured these days? Maybe she knows someone who was given Hep C or some other serious viral infection by a partner who had lied about their health?

    Maybe she was just looking for a reason to end the relationship, and you saying you had Hep C was a good enough excuse for her?

    Only she knows why she responded as she did. Only you can know if your actions truly were moral, responsible, and caring.

    You're right - it's not your fault that you have the virus. You didn't pick it up by engaging in risky or irresponsible behavior, so that makes it even shittier that you have it. And it isn't fair at all that she dumped you because of something totally beyond your control. But people do this stuff. If you're certain you behaved correctly, then you can put all responsibility for her response on her, and you have to move on.

    Get your treatment. Once you have the all clear, talk to the medics and do some research on your own to see if there is any possibility it might recur. In your next relationship, have a frank talk about your respective health statuses early on, and don't try to hide anything.

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    • vagman30
      6 years ago

      Well I really did care about her. I loved her more than anything, so I felt she had a right to know about my Hep C. So I did my part by explaining to her. I told her that I had no idea about it. I also explained to her that the doctors are already working on getting me treated. I basically told her everything, yet she still left. I tried asking her why she's acting like this, but she just goes "I don't have to explain myself to you."

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      • Boojum
        6 years ago

        She's right - she doesn't have to explain herself to you.

        But I'm sure you realize that's what people say when they either don't know why they've done what they've done, or they know they've behaved like an asshat, but they don't want to admit it.

        She doesn't have to justify her actions to you; she feels what she feels, and that's all you can really expect someone to tell you. She doesn't even need to understand why she feels the way she does, although I think people who blunder through life just "feeling" and never even trying to understand their own motivations are pretty stupid.

        Shutting down the conversation the way she did is emotionally immature. You and she had something going on for several years and she knew you loved her, so it's also very disrespectful.

        Sorry, guy, but I think you have to face the fact that she doesn't want to be with you. If she did, her response to your unpleasant news would have been along the lines of, "How is this going to affect you? How will it affect us? What can we do about this?" not stomping off and slamming the door behind her.

        Would you have responded as she did if the positions had been reversed? Given what you say, it seems unlikely. Therefore, you also have to face the fact that your love for her was not reciprocated.

        You're not at fault here; she is. The best you can do is chalk it up to experience, and move on.

        Oh, and if she should happen to return, think very carefully before jumping back in the pool. From what you say, it sounds like she has issues that she's either unable to articulate, or unwilling to discuss with you. That's not good.

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  • RoseIsabella
    6 years ago

    I know it hurts, but better to find out now than say after you married her. I know it sucks when someone turns on you like that! I recently had someone I loved turn on me, and it was awful, but I have to agree with Ray, because as painful and awful as it is it's better to know that you can't trust or rely on someone sooner than later. I feel like a douchebag saying all of this, but trust me on this one. I had someone who I was practically engaged to try to turn physically abusive on me.

    Oh well, at least I got to keep the little Levian diamond ring, maybe he knows he was wrong a on certain level, but he just keeps lying and denying all of it. I wish he could have turned out to be the person he presented himself to me as in the beginning. I am truly sorry she turned on you and abandoned you the way she did!

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