Is it normal my girlfriend does this?

A couple months ago, right after I decided to work on "me" for a little while, I met the most prettiest, funniest and greatest girl ever. Before I continue my story and start telling you about the problems I'm facing, I should mention that 1. We're both adults in our twenties and 2. We're both female (I'm not sure why I wanted to mention this, but some people might respond differently if they thought I was a male, I guess?) Anyways..

Despite her being a girl I could potentially spend my life with, I'm starting to see some pattern in our relationship that I think is worth telling you about. I'm worried if this is normal. This girl (lets say her name is Rachel) keeps doing some things which I find rather annoying. I've had several relationships and I've never had this problem. One of the things she does is she mostly makes me feel ugly instead of beautiful. She keeps noticing things about my body and talks to me about it in a way as if it's ugly or wrong. For example.. My breasts are rather small which is a thing every person can see if they saw me naked. Rachel finds it necessary to tell me they are "REALLY SMALL!" like every other week. She says so while she's laughing a little which I find really disrespectfull. This is one of many "body-shaming" things she says about me and I don't think it's normal to keep shaming my body and laughing while doing so. I talked to Rachel about this and she told me that she didn't mean it in a bad way. She is just an observer but loves my body, so she says. Even so.. she still doesn't stop and gets angry whenever I tell her "you said something about my body again..." She'll go in complete "I'm the worst ever!" mode, but days later she will AGAIN shame my body for something. I know she doesn't notice but still.. I would think twice before saying something about her body that would make her feel insecure, wouldn't you all?

She does the this with literally every part of me. From my head to toes, every other week. Whenever we meet up I'm just wondering what flaw she'll come up with next and I don't think that's normal. Don't get me wrong.. she's a great person and just sees a lot of things, but I just think it's weird. She doesn't seem insecure but knows I am and knows it bothers me. She herself only has a problem with her stomach since she finds that she is a bit overweight. Anyways.. I don't know. She seems so full of herself and just loves to only tell me bad things about myself, when all I do is tell her what is beautiful about her.

Is her behaviour normal? If not, what should I do? Do I talk to her again? Because whenever I do, she gets in defence mode saying she knows she sucks for saying so etc. Still nothing changes..

Voting Results
25% Normal
Based on 44 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • BlackyHancock

    She sounds really immature, maybe kind of insecure that she feels the need to point out so called 'faults'.
    She's not the greatest girl ever.

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      She doesn't seem insecure though.. she seems the complete opposite mostly.. idk.. thanks for replying by the way!

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      • BlackyHancock

        She may not come across as insecure, but when people constantly find fault in others it has a lot to do with how they feel about themselves.

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        • whatevevrvrvr

          I guess you're right, yeah..

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  • Terry...

    She is being verbally and emotionally abusive to you. When you point it out she gets angry and doesn't stop anyway.
    Question...Why do you want to put yourself through this? Dump this abusive b**** and find yourself a nice supportive partner who will make you feel beautiful and loved!
    This troll you are with doesn't deserve you!

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      Thanks for your reply. I'll really think about it..

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  • Rusty-Rider

    Next time she's asleep, draw a penis on her forehead with an indelible "Sharpie".
    Then take a pan of warm water and put her hand in it.
    If you really feel vindictive, tie one of her breasts to a chair with about 6 feet of string and yell "FIRE! FIRE!"
    That's how guys do it. :-)

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      That actually made me laugh, thanks haha!

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  • ConwayKitty

    My dad emotionally and mentally abused me for years and reading your summary really brought all that back to me and your girlfriend is doing exactly what my dad did to me, though different in some cases.

    And while your girlfriend may not seem insecure at all, she really, really is. My cousin is the same way. She's a cheerleader, thin, in college (I stopped because I did poorly for two semesters and decided to take time off), was a model and is extremely beautiful. Well, she hates how close my mom and I are, and how close I am to her mom, and my grandma favors me. So she constantly puts me down and points out all my flaws, and use to do it when we were surrounded by family, but now does it in public, as well.

    Trust me, this is no way to live your life. Please, please get out of this relationship. I was bullied and shamed by my family for years and still haven't gotten help for it, but I really hope you'll take my advice (as well as the advice of others on here) and leave this toxic relationship before it gets worse.

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      Hi ConwayKitty, thats horrible. I'm sorry you got bullied and shamed by your family. Thanks for replying and I'll really keep it in mind. Hope you are okay, as well.

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  • RoseIsabella

    Yeah, I'm sorry, but that chick is a waste of your time, energy and emotions. Forget about her, she's annoying and hurtful; it's better to be alone than with the wrong person. In my not so humble opinion ya'll's personalities aren't compatible at all.

    I'm curious as to how she'd react if you treated her the way she treats you. I'm not telling you to do or say anything to her per se, but I am curious as to whether she's the type who can dish it out, but can't take it.

    I think you should forget this chick by the way.

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  • Ellenna

    Looks like you've now found out what she's really like. Her behaviour is inexcusable and you shouldn't be putting up with it. The response that she knows she sucks is bullshit: if she knows she sucks she can change how she treats you and if she's not willing to do so I'd dump her before she completely undermines your self-esteem.

    She is NOT a great person or she wouldn't be treating you so badly but as long as you put up with she'll keep doing it - up to you

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      I don't know how much more I can take. It's up to me, but it's really nice to see people agreeing, I guess.. thanks Ellena!

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      • Ellenna

        You know you deserve better and you're welcome

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  • bozeman59

    Nothing wrong with the way you feel all I can say is go for it if you feel that content

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    • LOL, you didn't even read the post.

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    • Ellenna

      Did you actually read OP's post? If she were content with the situation she wouldn't be asking if being treated disrespectfully is normal

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    • whatevevrvrvr

      what

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