Is it normal my family uses me?

22% Normal
6 Comments

I wont go into huge detail.
I moved out of my mums for about 6 months cos works being done on the house and my room in particular. Im also unemployed (getting a job in a week or so though)
I live with my friend. My Auntie, Uncle and two younger cousins live down the road.
They are going through a tough time, my cousins anorexic, my uncle is a police office who works shifts.
Basically, my aunt frequently asks me to do favours, I say "asked" i use that word rather lightly. She will ring and say
"Oh can you do me a favour?"
Me: "Depends what it is"
Aunt: "Well your not doing anything so can you pick up my husband at 5am? Ok thanks bye"
And just dumps it on me, before I can even say no. She cares little of the fact that i might be doing something, I may not go out much now im here, but funnily enough, the one time I was going to go out with my friends she dumps this on me. So i have to cancel.

Its incredibly "annoying" its not that i dont want to do these things, its just that she has little regard for my personal life or that i might actually be doing something. I cant say no, shes family.

I would go to incredible lengths for my family, but she just doesn't seem to care about a response. I know they are having a hard time, but im a firm believer of:
"If you can do something yourself, dont make other people do it as a convenience. Do it yourself. You wont know what to do when the person you depend on is gone"

Voting Results
22% Normal
Based on 46 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • americanhoney
    11 years ago

    They must be that way due to your clear and obvious racism.

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  • Short&2thepoint
    11 years ago

    Or just tell her to fuck off and die. c:

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  • RoseIsabella
    11 years ago

    This may sound mean but I would highly recommend screening your calls when it comes to your aunt. I do that with everyone, family included. I still do favors for them but at my convenience. It's not good to be at anyone's beckon call. If you have plans it might even be a good idea to delay returning her calls until after you've finished with your plans. I know you said you can't say no because they're family but lots of people say no to family if it's an unreasonable request. I honestly believe you can say, "no" you just have to practice. I've had similar problems in the past with family and friends and what's helped me a lot is the 12 Step program Codependents Anonymous. http://www.coda.org/ I've found that people tend to treat us the way we allow them to treat us. So it's good to learn about setting boundaries with them. Also if it's okay I would suggest getting in the habit of telling people you have plans even if those plans are just taking a nap or having a cup of the with the cat (sorry I dunno if you have a cat) or even going out with your friends. Also you don't have to tell people what the plans are just tell them you have plans and if they insist tell them your busy and gotta go. I hope this helps. Now I must have tea with my Siamese.

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    • Short&2thepoint
      11 years ago

      Very, very well said.

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      • RoseIsabella
        11 years ago

        Thanks.

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  • thr
    11 years ago

    I don't know much about yours or your family's situation, but it doesn't seem okay for her to "ask" in such a way, and I can understand that you find it annoying, also because she seems to think you have no life of your own to live.

    Would it help if you told her about it? It's good that you're helping family, but I don't think it's too much to ask for a little respect at the same time.

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