Is it normal my dad blames me for all of his problems?

9% Normal
17 Comments

My dad always blames me for his problems. He did when I was little too. He is blaming me because of the divorce and he is still to this day blaming me. I Do not know how to get them back together so I do not know what he expects me to do. He tells me its my fault he is old and has no wife or girlfriend that the reason he has a better job is because he had to take care of us. I do not know what would have helped.

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9% Normal
Based on 163 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 17 )
  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    My dad always did and still does this too. It's a lame excuse. He was a grown man when he got married and decided to have kids. Then he blamed us (and anyone else) for everything that ever went wrong in his life.

    He went so far as to blame some other drunk guy at a bar for him getting a DWI. What happened was, he's at a bar, getting wasted, and then he leaves. He speculates that this other guy there called the cops on him after he left. He doesn't know this guy did that, he just thinks he did. Anyway, even if the guy DID do it, um, who's to blame?? It was my dad that sat at a bar getting drunk and then decided to drive home. It was 100% his fault but he somehow blames it on someone else.

    I don't know what it's like at my parent's house now because I don't live there, but there's no kids left to blame shit on. I'd actually be quite interested in knowing how that aspect of things is, but I'll never know I guess.

    We know it's just a bunch of lame excuses because my dad is a total loser by his own design, we have nothing to do with it. It's pretty rare that you can truly blame someone else entirely for something that happens to you, in normal, everyday life. Don't stress it, your dad just doesn't want to face facts, which is pretty normal-although it's not SO normal to blame your kids....but it's normal in that it's a common trait of people to not accept responsibility to some degree at least.

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  • iEatZombies_
    11 years ago

    Your father is incapable of accepting consequences for his doings. I bet he blames you for existing even though he is the one who fucked mommy. People like this are so full of themselves that they can't fathom themselves doing harm. Your father is a child. Don't try to fix him, he won't even realize he's broken. Just keep him at arm's length and move on from him.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I am trying to but it is complicated. I do not have a lot of cash I am living off my friend he does not want to give me money and I am about to go homeless if my friend can not make payments anymore and I do not talk to my mom because my dad acts like a big baby and yells at me and her. my mom favors my baby brother over me and always has and most of my family is poor I am trying find money but its so hard right now. My family never supported me and I have to take care of my pets so I will have to take them with me. I do not want to leave them to die and can not get ride of them. So I have responsibility to take care of them. I can not find work but I need a place to live so I gonna be in for it pretty soon. My friend says I need to start paying or I have to leave.

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      • iEatZombies_
        11 years ago

        I meant to move on from him emotionally.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          I did but he still tells me krap and I am not living with him anymore and he still calls to blame me.

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          • iEatZombies_
            11 years ago

            I take it you're not the type to hang up on someone.

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  • Captain_Kegstand
    11 years ago

    Sounds like your dad is kind of a dick! He doesn't seem to have any positive influence on you at all, cut him out and you will be much happier.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    Perhaps your mother had you when he didn't want to become a father or wasn't finnished cliumbing the scales he wanted to climb? If he didn't want to be a father, then I wouldn't say ot's your fault, I would more so say it was the mother's for wanting to have a child with a man that wasn't wanting to be one, in which case effected his view of you as his child.

    I don't think it's right that he keeps saying this to you, but if your mother had the child and expected him to be a father role man when he didn't want to or was ready, then the root of the problem was that your mother decided to have a child with a man that didn't want a child at the time, so obviously there would be some thoughts like that. I think it's understandable, but not excusable. I can see why he would think that, but that doesn't mean that it was your fault at all.

    If he did want to be a father, wanted to have a child, then he is being a child and needs to grow up.

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      To the people that thumbed me down, by doing so you just insinuated that you believe that when a child is born, the man automatically turns in to a father figure, role model, regardless of the type of person the man was before.
      Your whole logic in dissagreeing with this is that you expect that if a woman had sex with a hobo, had a child from the hobo, the hobo snaps in to father role model material...

      Go cry about your illogical, over emotional though process. If you can't understand that if a woman having a child to a man that isn't ready n or willing to be a father that it will effect the father's thoughts on the child and attitude to the child, then you are just dumb shits, ruled over by emotional of "He made women to blame for something the main root of cause, I have to cry now!"

      You're both pathetic, overemotional, illogical human beings. (No doubt women aswell, what a suprise).

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      • dom180
        11 years ago

        You can't absolve the dad of fault just because he didn't want a kid. Even IF he didn't want a kid... even IF it was blatently clear to the mother that he'd be a bad dad... and even IF she chose to keep the kid of her own choice (100% free from harrassment and social pressures), it's still 50/50 between the mother and father.

        No amount of not wanting to be a dad gives absolves him of the responsibility he has to be a good dad.

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          Like I said, he shouldn't be saying this to the child, that doesn't mean that he was the root of the reason for him thinking such things.

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      • BigScaryRooster
        11 years ago

        Don't worry about what others think on the Internet. Their opinions on your post are useless and not worth getting annoyed over.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    He's in the driver's seat of his own life, not you. He's using you as a punching bag for his own failures.

    It'll never end and there's nothing you can do to fix it.

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  • Angel_in_a_Glass_Dress
    11 years ago

    You actually have the power to age him? Wow.

    Sounds like he's being overdramatic. If you live with him, this is a good reason to move out.

    he might still blame you for everything but at least you won't have to hear about it where you live

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  • BigScaryRooster
    11 years ago

    Did you make the post about your dad calling you and blaming you?

    The best thing you can do is cut all ties with him. A grown man that only blames his child and refuses to take any blame for his decisions needs to grow up. Heck, whats stopping him from searching for a lady his age now?

    My mother did something similar to me. She blamed my siblings and I for taking up ten years of her life. She looked me in the eyes and called me a burden. She said she wished she never had me or my siblings. She said we got in the way of her dream to be a singer. She also blamed us for "destryoing her body" and said we were the reason she had to marry our father. She left my father to be with some dude she only knew for about a month. After sixteen years, she wanted to get back into my life and I refused. She still won't take the blame for her decisions, so she's pretty much dead to me.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      yes both dad texts are mine.

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  • I_hope_i_am_normal
    11 years ago

    He shouldn't say that, i guess he made his decisions that led him to this situation. What i suggest is go see some family counselling that might help him

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