Is it normal my boyfriend still pays for ex health insurance?

17% Normal
9 Comments

I am so concern now that I found out my boyfriend still pays for his ex health insurance. I am afraid he might still be marry! :( We were talking about how much he pays for health insurance, I told him why his children dont apply on their own since they are 18 and 21 now. My boyfriend says they are in a family plan and that his ex is in that plan too but that he told her when she finds a new man to let him know so that he can take her off the insurance. I always had doubts about their relationship but now this brings more doubts. They were together for 20 years but my boyfriend says they never got married. Something tells me I had been lied to all this time, so far I wasted 3 years with him. One yr dating and 2 together seeing each other on weekends. He has never show me were he lives nor introduce me to his kids. What could be the reason he still pays health insurance for his ex? I feel my heart will get broken soon.

Voting Results
17% Normal
Based on 42 votes (7 yes)
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Comments ( 9 )
  • littlepanda
    11 years ago

    Three years and you still don't know where he lives..?

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    • dummyme74
      11 years ago

      No, now that I am about to break up with him he is telling me he will show me where he lives and have me meet his kids, but why wait until now, I don't think I am interested now,, he allowed to much time to pass and the damaged is done.

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      • curiouskate101
        11 years ago

        good for you!! he isnt the one you deserve better

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  • lc1988
    11 years ago

    he's still married . all the signs are there

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  • dummyme74
    10 years ago

    I was finally able to meet the 2 sons he has with his ex. We pick them up at their house and went to eat, he introduced me to them as his girlfriend of 3 years. He allow me to use the bathroom of his house, although he didn't show me around. This happened in April, havent't see them again.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    My concern would be what made you so desperate that you would accept this jerk in the first place? Not seeing his place after the first month should have been a red flag and a deal breaker. I'm glad to hear that you're doing the next right thing and dumping his sorry ass!

    After 3 years of letting this codependent relationship chip away at your self esteem I think it would be wise of you to do some self discovery and healing with a therapist and maybe go to some Codependents Anonymous meetings so that you can learn more from this experience and not repeat it in the future. http://www.coda.org/

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  • myboyfriendsbitch
    11 years ago

    It sounds suspicious, but why would he tell you this detail if he was hiding something? 20 years together is a long time, so no doubt he's going to still care about her and maybe even take care of her in some ways. Either way, you need answers. Let him know you can't be in the dark about these things much longer because its not fair to you. And don't be afraid to leave if its driving you mad and he doesn't attempt to reassure you. Just try to understand, if he is being honest with you, that its not very easy to completely quit loving someone you spent 20 years with (and paying her insurance isn't so much different from paying her alimony).

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    • dummyme74
      11 years ago

      He wasn't honest until now, he did tell me this detail, I got it out of his mouth. I am sure there is more to this I don't know about.

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  • boston12
    11 years ago

    hmm three years is a long time not to hav been introduced to his kids or been to his house. sounds bit suss that he still pays for x health care, hav u tried asking y u dont visit him? or set up a dinner to meet the kids. if he reacts badly, get ur skates on hes a commitment freak

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