Is it normal my boyfriend refuses to stand up for me?

59% Normal
10 Comments

I was in a fight with my grandmother about my father. I asked my boyfriend to stand up for me, and agree with me that it's okay to not want to have a relationship with my father and that it's okay to feel the way I do. He refused. He says this is a family matter and he cannot interfere.

I consider him to be my family more so than them. They don't know we are together, they think we are only friends. He mentioned that. I said, "I have stood up for my friends! How will you have any friends if you won't stand up for them?"

I don't understand where he is coming from. We are very angry at each other right now.

My REAL family is dysfunctional. That's why I don't want to have a relationship with my father and why they don't know my boyfriend and I are together. I just don't feel they need to know, and I don't want them to try to force me to be single because they think I'm too young, they don't want to lose me, they don't like him, etc. They have tried to force me to be single in the past.

IIN?

p.s. He added he's scared of my family.

Voting Results
59% Normal
Based on 37 votes (22 yes)
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Comments ( 10 )
  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    You throwing him in the middle of your family shit is AWKWARD.

    He's not your spouse? He's your boyfriend. I can't imagine talking-back to my best friend's mother, not to mention a boyfriend's mother. WOAH, get out of here. What your expecting from him is unrealistic. If he was your husband, than by all means, he should defend you vigorously.

    If anything, you should be sheltering him from your family. He should not have to hear or see you all fight. It's you that's a whining bitch? [no offence, that's just what you sound like.]

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  • kelili
    11 years ago

    He has done what any other mature adult would have done.

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    He is alright for not getting involved in a family argument, especially if he does not know your family members as you do. How old are you two?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Young adults.

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  • Darkoil
    11 years ago

    While i have no problem arguing with my girlfriend's family or literally anybody for that matter if I think I'm right I can understand why he would not want to get involved. Now then back to you, tell that old bitch if she doesn't shut her mouth then you are considering not having a relationship with her either.

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    I went to my boyfriends grandmas house cause they do this big family get together in the summer. Usually between his brother and him, one sleeps in the livingroom for half the trip, the other gets the bedroom, then they switch. This year, he and his brother got to bring their girlfriends. My boyfriend was 18 at the time, I was 19. His brother was 20 and his girlfriend was 18. My boyfriend is seen as the baby in the family, no matter what. I was suprised at how they treated him like a child!! This year, they didn't let him/us sleep in the room for half the stay, his older brother and his girlfriend were to have it the whole trip. Their reasoning, because they felt that we weren't old enough. I guess they were more afraid of use having sex than his older brother? Not likely lol You'd have to meet them to understand. My boyfriend was obviously upset about this, he's really sick of being treated like a kid. So he jokingly says we should take the room. So half way through the trip, that's what we do. When his grandma finds we've taken over the room, there's a HUGE fight. My boyfriend is very shy, so I stood up for him and calmly tried to explain that he doens't like being treated so unfairly, but I just got yelled at. The older brother and girlfriend are now yelling in my face to. And he didn't stand up for me at all. Even though it was both equally our fault, and it was his family. Moral of the story? (if you took the time to read all that) None. Just, I feel your pain lol

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  • Anonymous Post Author
    11 years ago

    Oh great, so I'm supposed to be abused all by myself?

    We are not married, no, but I'd like to be. There are a few reasons that we cannot get married. He has since said that he can barely stand up for himself so how is he supposed to stand up for me. He has also said he will try to, but he hasn't even though there has been another opportunity.

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  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    I think its odd you wanted him to tell grammy what's up. Its a family matter, I don't really think he should have been asked to get involved.

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  • Sog
    11 years ago

    Your boyfriend should have showed some backbone and stood up for you in front of your family.

    But you should also show some backbone and stand up to your family about having a boyfriend. That's not fair to him either.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    You are both right he should be sticking up for you but at the same time it's not his place to comment if that makes sense.

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