Is it normal my bf won't leave me alone when i need it ?

36% Normal
12 Comments

When my boyfriend and I have a big fight, I usually end up crying or very upset. When I am in this emotional state I need to go alone to calm down and feel better. Even if this is what I need my boyfriend will not let me, he'll run after me while screaming he'll even try to force the door open and this happens no matter how much I scream back at him to leave me alone. I really believe we cannot solve a fight when we are still fighting and extremely angry at each other.I just want to let it cool down but my boyfriend doesn't let me go when I need it. He tells me it's because I haven't heard everything he had to say, but he's being so mean I cannot stay and listen to him...is it normal ? Am I being selfish because I want to be left alone ?

Voting Results
36% Normal
Based on 42 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • bananapie
    10 years ago

    In my opinion it's better to be alone and let things cool off before you can discuss it in a more calm and rational way. It kind of sounds like your bf just wanna prove his point and is not really listening to what you say.

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  • JaxX
    10 years ago

    You need to resolve the issue. My girlfriend is the same way. She gets very emotional. But she expects me to fix it. But when i see her start to cry it melts my heart most the time. He sounds very stubborn like me and feels hes right most of the time. Try and fight the urge to run away in the middle of an arguement. Instead sit down, speak calmly , if you have to cry do it. Doubt hell wanna do anything else but hold you right then. The power of women.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      I try to stay but I can't calm him down when I do. He is very stubborn and I loose my temper too then the fight becomes worst. Any advice about how to make him calm down?

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      • JaxX
        10 years ago

        I find it easiest to calm down in an arguement when instead of her yelling back she stays calm and soothing ( she doesnt give up) just is soothing in the way she talks. Thats just me though. It makes me feel stupid to yell anymore when shes like that haha.

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  • ifonlyuknew247
    10 years ago

    When you're both calm, say "I like when we're like this, and I hate it when we argue. Let's decide on a strategy - when we get upset with each other, let's say 'ten minutes' as a code to go away from each other for at least ten minutes, and write down our feelings. Then we can give what we wrote to each other to read either then or later, but after ten minutes let's meet up just to hug without words, then afterward if you want to finish what you were writing, say 'ten more minutes', but that's the total time limit. After that time, hug again, then both of us say sorry to the other for hurting feelings no matter who is right or wrong. I want to remind us that we love each other." And good luck. If he is invested in making your relationship a healthy one, and he is mature, he'll do it.

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    • MaxCapacity2121
      10 years ago

      Honestly, as a woman, writing a note would piss me off further. Communication is key. If you dont communicate then its pointless. If its long distance, and one or the other hang up on each other then, communticaation needs to be worked on. Notes will further the anger and some things are better left unsaid.

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    • JaxX
      10 years ago

      Thats sounds healthy and good. But goodluck getting a man to write down his feelings :p

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      • ifonlyuknew247
        10 years ago

        It's a necessary step, even if it's full of malefience or totally one-sided, & even if he rips it up after or burns it (which I'd recommend if it is either of the above), or shreds & composts it, whatever. It needs to be on something concrete like paper, even if it's a printout. The letter shouldn't be kept around to mull over later, or send to friends, or to be thrown in the partner's face. The point is to get the feelings out so they can be examined. It's a techniques I read about in Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, the only one I actually tried despite having my doubts, and I remember being shocked that it worked. So you really never know.

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        • JaxX
          10 years ago

          I assume what you read is from a womans magazine. I just cant see it working and even if it does the words that id put she shouldnt see. Just. Not good idea. An idea from a woman read by a woman that will only work with a woman. Lol. I dispise those articles women right claiming to know what to do about men.

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          • ifonlyuknew247
            10 years ago

            LOL Actually "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" was an extremely popular relationship book written by a man, Dr. John Gray, in the 1990s.

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  • mixwell
    10 years ago

    A lot of people think that they're going to prove their side of the story but when someone says leave me a lone its its better to leave them the fuck alone until they're ready to talk

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    Sounds like a future psycho ex.

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