Is it normal my bf is so lazy?

53% Normal
26 Comments

I work full time and I'm still the one who does the chores around the house. My bf works 20-30 hours a week and recently he's been calling out about once a week. He complains when I ask him to make food, do dishes, or even clean up the messes he makes. I'm not sure how to go about changing this or if it's even worth my time anymore. He says he loves me but sometimes I feel like the only reason he does is because I take care of him. is it normal that he acts like this?

Voting Results
53% Normal
Based on 51 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 26 )
  • dirtybirdy
    11 years ago

    Kick his ass

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    To hell with him.

    Even if you two are working the same hours, he ALSO must take responsibility for the cleanliness of the home. Two people, two partners. If he refuses to even care for himself, dump him.

    Think about the future. You two have kids. He's going to expect you to work AND pull the load at home, which will be 10x more with a kid around. These sort of behaviors and "entitlement" beliefs only tend to worsen with age and he is already showing signs that he believes that you should also take on more work load outside of the home and inside so he can do less.

    Partners are both to take equal or near equal responsibility for the success of the outcome, whatever it may be (running the household, raising children, paying bills) and if he will not take that responsibility, it is time to replace him with someone who will or air. At least air won't make a mess for you to clean up.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I've been thinking about the future a lot lately and I think that's what's bothering me the most. I take care of him more than I take care of myself at this point. I'm a very responsible person and when I look at him, it upsets me. I've been trying to make him do stuff for himself and that just blows up in my face when he throws a temper tantrum (literally).

      I have broken up with him in the past but then he swore he'd do better so I gave him another shot. Through the months everything is still expected of me and my wire is wearing very thin.

      Air would give me more peace and quiet and time to myself. I'm just horrible at breaking up with people because I hate the idea of hurting someone, no matter what the situation is.

      Thanks for your feedback, it was very helpful!

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  • PumpkinKate
    11 years ago

    My friend has a boyfriend and she hates that dick,
    she tells me every day
    he wants more dinero just to sit at home,
    well my friend, you gotta say...
    I won't give ya no money, I always pay
    now now Why don't you get a job
    Say no way, say no way ya, no way
    now now Why don't you get a job!

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    • dom180
      11 years ago

      <3 Offspring.

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      • Shackleford96
        11 years ago

        *Thumbsed you back up.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Mistreat him become a dominatrix and every time he misbehaves whip him.

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  • PapzBSlim
    11 years ago

    An elbow drop or a kick to the groin before demanding what you want done will work. My girlfriend almost literally ripped me a second anus and I am making more efforts now.

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  • ygrowup
    11 years ago

    You push little, change comes slow and you don't want to push him away do you?

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  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    Maybe attempt to put some structure in the household? Set certain days when you do dished, when he sweeps or whatever. You know, kind of like having a child!! lol My mom used to put up a calender so we would do our chores. It had our name on the day we needed to do whatever.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      He actually did say he'd follow a schedule but I feel as though as adults we shouldn't need that kind of thing. Me asking him for help should be enough motivation. I don't want to treat my bf like a child but I guess if he acts like one it's what he deserves. I could get some of those cool stars to put next to his name every time he does something good. Maybe even get him a toy each week he follows through. Hahaha.

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      • ccjigsaw
        11 years ago

        Omg lol That would be brilliant. Just buy a tub of gummie worms like they used to back in school xD

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Haha. That's not a bad idea. Or even lollipops to keep him quiet.

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  • Mando
    11 years ago

    Big red flag. Lots of women think they can change guys like this. Let me tell you: it most likely ain't gonna happen! If you ever have a child with him, it'll be your second - him always being the first baby.

    He sounds like a user. So think hard about what the reality of putting down roots with this guy will be: a life of servitude. Is it normal? Common yes - normal no. I think you should find someone with way more to offer and send this one back to mama.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Yes, I will admit I was one of those women who thought she could change a man. Two years later I realize it's impossible and is just putting too much stress on me. I feel like I'm going nowhere in life because I'm too busy worrying about him rather than me. I couldn't imagine having a child with this man.
      Thanks for the comment.

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      • Mando
        11 years ago

        You can change a man, and he you, that is part of growing together. What you have described is someone who is taking advantage of your good will and won't even grow up. I'm sure it must be terribly disappointing for you - but you know what they say about throwing good money after bad .... (cut your losses).

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  • Tottolotto
    11 years ago

    Find a social life of your own, and stop doing everything for him.

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  • Shackleford96
    11 years ago

    Stop being such a pushover.

    If you want him to change, demand some responsibility on his part, or find a new boyfriend. If he really loves you like he says he does, then he will try to improve, especially if he knows that it means so much to you.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      That's what I have always say to him but it goes right over his head. He says he'll never WANT to do things to help and I tell him if he cares enough about me he'd actually get off his ass and clean up.

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      • Shackleford96
        11 years ago

        Then I'll say it again. FIND A NEW BOYFRIEND.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          Are you free tomorrow night? ;P

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          • Shackleford96
            11 years ago

            Yes actually, how did you know O_o

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