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My daughter is ten. She gives me a lot of attitude if I ever ask her for help around the house, but whenever her step-dad asks, she hops right to it. IIN, I don't know what to do, I didn't have a mom growing up.
I would really be happy for your advice.
IIN?
I find this a lot with parents and it amazes me!!!
The answer is in your post..... "ask her for help!" Who's the adult here?
I am the oldest of 4 siblings and the mother of one boy, I also tutor children - and I have never ASKED a child to do anything!! I TELL THEM, or give them one of two options.
eg. You can either wash the dishes or dry them!
OR, get that room tidied!
"No."
Don't come downstairs until it's done - means no dinner.
I have confiscated the cell phone, computer, put a note on the door to tell friends not to call, turned off the TV, withheld pocket money, stopped doing their laundry, whatever was necessary at the time, etc etc. When you live in my house and expect me to skivvy for you, then you abide by my rules and at the very least behave as though you are part of the team. I do not allow 'takers' to wear me down.
Now you grow up and start TELLING her what to do. Parenting requires effort and so few parents can be bothered to work at it everyday. However, if you do it for a short while, life is so much easier in the long run.
I could write a book on this topic!!
Unfortunately i feel like this is pretty normal. Kids start acting out around this age, she probably feels like she can get away with more with you rather than with the father figure.
She probably gives attitude at pitches a fit and you give in. She knows she is the boss. Stick to your guns!
For your "stern" voice to have an effect on anyone, especially kids, they have to believe that you WILL hurt them if needs be. Not that you ever would, but they have to believe if they push the right button, the beatings will begin. I bet your daughter has you wrapped around her little finger. My dad rarely beat me and my brothers but when we deserved it, we got it good. We didn't grow up to be mass murderers and none of us ever got arrested for anything either. Spare the rod and spoil the child. Give her a good paddling on her butt the next time.
Lol, my sister is a pain like that. She never listens to my mom but will eventually listen to my dad (my parents are divorced). I think my dad is tougher with her than my mom. Maybe, you come off as not a strict person to her and your ex "means business." This is what I find with my family.