Is it normal maybe messed up as child?
I realized whilst going through my old stuff that I was a little 'off' as a child.
Never was exposed to violence and whatnot of any kind, parents were strict about stuff like that. I'll keep this brief, but it's still a bit of a read. These are the things I used to do.
- When I was 8, I used to hit and scratch my mother when she told me what to do. At 9, I was set on poking a hole in my leg with a pin as punishment for this, too chicken to carry through though.
- Used to have Barbies. At 8, I had one in particular I used to want to come alive so I could torture it. Had a song I used to sing to try to bring it to life. Other than that, filled it with pinpricks.
- I wrote stories about said doll at age 10. They involved her getting tortured; cut to pieces, getting babies cut from her, babies getting slaughtered in front of her, etc...and she would usually commit suicide by the end.
- I used to draw a mix of sexual and extremely violent things, probably too graphic to write here. I started this at age 9, was caught age 10, told not to do it but kept it up even until now (19). Maybe I'll write it in the comments.
There are more things, tried to keep it brief. I was never exposed to any of this stuff, it happened out of nowhere.
IIN? Have other kids done this?