Is it normal it upsets me my guy looks at porn i'm horny but hes not

Ok so me and my guy have been together three years since I was 15 and engaged one, we have lived together for about 8 months now one Day I came home an was like so did you do the deed while I was away just kidding, ( we both masterbate and are open) he said no and I said you promise he said of corse a few min later I picked up his phone and bam porn, I didn't even know what to say he lied to me ( we have had trust issues in the past includind similar stuff) I was just learning to trust him again and then he lies at the point I started feeling the I'm gross why not just look at me, I've done up pictures and videos for him of me as well the next day I looked on his computer and found more ( naked and bikini searches) then right after that a search for a girl he had history with that hurt I asked him about it but how can I trust what he says? How can I not feel unsexy all I want is his $!,@ lately but I feel he is never in the mood help!!!!