Is it normal it annoys me when my friend doesn't make the effort?

46% Normal
8 Comments

My friend NEVER makes the effort with her appearance and it annoys me. Of course I know it's not all about appearance, but people judge just by looking at you. And when they see her, they don't bother to get to know her personality and they are missing out!
She never bothers to do her hair and instead ties it back, doesn't wear make up to compliment her, never takes care of her skin so it can get bad sometime and the majority of the time, just wears jeans and a hoodie even if we are going somewhere which is specifically formal. To be honest, she doesn't look good, at all.
We have been friends for three years now and I have only seen her make the effort once and my God she is one beautiful lady! She looks massively impressive. I just wish she looked that more because people just don't see how beautiful she is and she deserves so many compliments. People will want to get her to know her more too and realise what an amazing personality she has.
Is it normal I feel this way?

Voting Results
46% Normal
Based on 13 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 8 )
  • bananaface
    11 years ago

    I think it's normal, and I also think that in itself is a bit of a shame. Why should she have to change herself in order for people to get to know her? The only reason I ever make an effort is because I like wearing eyeliner and stuff like that. If I didn't though, I wouldn't appreciate people trying to change me, that makes me feel very uncomfortable. And I have been told before that the clothes I wear are "too casual". Too casual for what exactly?

    If people aren't getting to know her just because she doesn't look good enough or because she hasn't "made the effort", then they don't really deserve to get to know her "amazing personality". You're right, they probably are missing out, and it's their own stupid fault, not hers. They're the ones who need to change, not her.

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  • dom180
    11 years ago

    Good for her. More people should stop caring about how they look. The onus is on other people to stop being so judgmental, not for her to change herself.

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    • Unimportant
      11 years ago

      Yeah. Welcome to the world of ugly people.

      Wouldn't you be even a little sad if there were no beautiful (on the outside) people out there? None at all?

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      • dom180
        11 years ago

        No, because I wouldn't have any expectations and even any idea what "beautiful" was. Neither would anyone else. No such thing as being concerned about your body image, no such thing as feeling inferior to someone else for how you look. That sounds great to me.

        Beauty is relative, and if there were no attractive people (by current Western society's standards) then we wouldn't just walk around saying "everyone's ugly, what a terrible world we live in"; we'd look at the most attractive person in the room and see them as the most attractive person in the room just like we do now. The only difference is that we'd spend less of our time and money on superficial things and more of it on things that actually matter.

        Besides, some people can look attractive without trying, and some people aren't no matter how much effort they put in.

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        • Unimportant
          11 years ago

          I see your point and absolutely disagree. But it's pointless to discuss it. Agree to disagree, I guess :-).

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  • norilneko
    11 years ago

    I understand you don't want to sound rude, but you do. She is okay with how she feels. You might want to have a friendship check if you are worried about that. I understand the formal events, but other than that, let her worry about her own style. You aren't trying to go out with her, so why are you thinking about this so much?

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    what other quality is good about her ? you could have fun finding out

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    If my wife didn't cut my hair or my beard i would look like a wookie right now.

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