Is it normal? is this okay?

9 Comments

A few weeks ago my boyfriend of 7 months found out that I was having an emotional affair with my ex boyfriend of 2 years. There was no physical contact, but multiple emails of me telling him that I love him and some sexual discussions and photos. In no way shape or form do I think that what I did was okay, I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Just because we were in a bad place doesn't mean I should have drifted to an ex..

However, my boyfriend has gone off the deep end. I have to send him photos of what I'm wearing, I had to delete all social media, I had to drop friends, if I go out in public I have to send him constant photos and videos.. he reads every text message, listens to every voice mail, goes through all of my photos.. and when I say that he needs to respect my privacy he tells me if that's how I feel then I need to leave.. because this is the only thing that's going to make him forgive me and help him heal..

Is this an expected reaction from someone who's been emotionally cheated on? I can't imagine how much I hurt him.. and I truly do love him and can't see myself with anyone else.. but my best friend is highly concerned.

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Comments ( 9 )
  • RoseIsabella
    5 years ago

    What you did was wrong, but that doesn't make what he's doing now okay, because it's not okay. He doesn't have the right to control you, nor does he have the right to dictate what you can and cannot wear or with whom who you can and cannot be friends. You're emotional infidelity was wrong , but perhaps the relationship is damaged beyond repair.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    5 years ago

    yallre a complete fuckin hosebag

    just leave the poor feller already

    let me guess yall cant leave cause hes payin the bills and yall gots no monies cause its spent on frivolous bullshit?

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    • thedondada
      5 years ago

      No. We don't live together and I make the same amount of money that he does, I own a business.

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      • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
        5 years ago

        yall both sounds deplorable

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  • nikkiclaire
    5 years ago

    No. You admitted your mistake which wasn't that bad. No, don't let this jerk control you. Listen to him and leave. 7 months to find out he is a massive control freak, you got lucky. Cut your losses now before it turns physically abusive.

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  • Ineedhelpomgg
    5 years ago

    Oh.. I had a friend like this and i had to keep telling her to break up with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend ended up getting abusive.

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  • lordofopinions
    5 years ago

    I can't blame him. He trusted you and you let him down. That trust he had in you will have to be earned back.

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  • Loretta
    5 years ago

    I think your boyfriend's behavior is pretty normal. It's only been a few weeks. But he doesn't get to act that way forever. You will get to the point all by yourself when you say, "Enough! Either you forgive me or you don't. Either you trust me or you don't. Either knock it off or get out."

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  • Boojum
    5 years ago

    Your best friend is right to be very concerned, because your boyfriend's reaction is intrusive, disrespectful, disproportionate, and controlling.

    Don't beat yourself up too much about what you did with your ex. If you and your current boyfriend were going through a rough patch, I think it was understandable. I'm not saying it was right, but it's a very human reaction to put on the rose-tinted glasses and remember only the positive things about an old flame when you're feeling uncertain about the relationship you're in now.

    Your boyfriend has told you that he doesn't trust you and, as far as he's concerned, you have no right to a private life if you're with him. So, after seven months, you now see his true colours. How much worse does it need to get before you realise this is not a guy you should be with?

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