Is it normal insanely insecure of my 'emo' scars

Yeah I used to cut myself. I have scars all up my left forearm and nail scratches on my wrist, most of which have faded to white (used scar cream, they're only visable close up now)that I'm not very concerned about. I used to not be able to ever take off my jacket, even in 98 degrees weather. VERY recently I got over those. Now, I also used to cut myself on my upper thighs. On my right upper thigh, I carved a DEEP impression of an "M" (name reference, stupid as f*ck I know) on it, my left has a, what's supposed to be, a heart, but since scarring up it puffed up to a gross pink blob, about the size of a quarter. The "M" is about the size of a post-it note, and is side-ways if you look at it straight on. Because of these scars, I refuse to wear bikini bottoms, short-shorts, or even undress in front of my friends. I f*cking hate them so much I massage scar cream/oils into them whenever I can. They're deep and pink colored. I'm afraid I'll never have sex because of them, honestly I want to but I can't imagine being naked and people seeing them...I shudder at the thought of it. I can just see them staring and just running away from me telling everyone how 'emo' I am. Is this normal, or am I being over dramatic...I'm scared sh*tless I won't be able to keep a relationship because of them. :/ thanks.

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82% Normal
Based on 122 votes (100 yes)
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Comments ( 34 )
  • klewis7884

    I think the feelings of insecurity are normal. I also think that if/when you find someone to be intimate with in a way that you might start thinking about sex with them that you should share these insecurities with them. I have no doubt that if that person truly cares about you that he will deeply respect you and your body and find you sexy and beautiful, no matter how many scars you have!

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    • midnatwilight

      This, definitely this. :)

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  • vicariousvulgarity

    Guru, the human brain is wired to anticipate and dampen sensations that arise from a person's own actions. That dampening is why you can't tickle yourself. An accidental cut would hurt more because the brain doesn't know to expect it, whereas someone who is self-harming knows they're about to make a wound.

    The "release" comes from endorphins released by the body. "Endorphin" is a portmanteau of "endogenous" (coming from the body) and "morphine." These compounds are similar to man-made painkillers like morphine and can be similarly addictive. A study showed that frequent users of tanning beds reported feelings of withdrawals when given naltrexone, a substance commonly used to treat people addicted to painkillers.

    You'll probably never read this, but I'm posting in the hope that someone else with a similar kind of ignorance will see this post and think twice before offering their opinion on something they know nothing about.

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  • Slice_N_Dice

    Extreme sports are expensive, cutting is free. It's also more comfortable to cut yourself from the comfort of your bathroom or bedroom than jumping out of a jet with a parachute that might not open. The chances your razor might slip and sever your carrotid artery are much smaller than said parachute won't open and your brains will get splattered on a rock in the middle of nowhere. Those who say they cut for the thrill are just too poor or wimpy to do something more entertaining. Last, but not least, those girls with obvious problems you mentioned are more often than not exactly like that. Stay away from those annoying bitches, they'll shove all your problems unto you and always demand more attention than they put out. Sorry for the neverending rant.

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  • Also from a physiological point of view when we (as people) cut ourselves, accidently or intentionally, it's supposed to release endorphins, known as happy hormones.

    It's easy to get addicted to the sudden uplift, I guess.

    All I do know is people who are mean and nasty to self-harmers are most likely the reason the person harms in the first place.

    A catalyst if you will.

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  • I have the same feelings..I only did it on me legs but idk I thought they werent noticable so I wore shorts a couple times and boy was I wrong people would look at me like I wasnt even human..Like I was crazy and I believed there eyes..I dont know but I think you should just conquer your fears..those scars will alwasy be there and people will stare but the people who really scare about you wont care I promise and well i dont know I just got used to it you should just live your life! well idk hopefully that helped

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  • SassyFrassyLassie_old

    It's not your scars that will hold you back from having normal experiences in life, it's your attitude about it. Get some counseling, you seem like you could really use it.

    As for your scars, there are a couple of things you could do to cover them up: laser scar removal, have the scars colored (cosmetic tattooing) in to match the surrounding healthy skin, or have it covered up completely by a pretty tattoo.

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  • Also I would never use those lines to anyone or cry rape, that's a ridiculous assumption. Even at my lowest point, I'd never have done that.

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  • Settling for someone who has been a cutter is stupid? You sir are an idiot. People who cut do it to either get rid of emotional pain or to feel any emotion at all. I am with a man who used to cut, but I didn't "settle" for him. I actually wanted to be with him because he is an amazing person, and so wonderful and sweet. Yes he used to cut but so what? That was part of his life at one time, something he went through. Doesn't make him crazy or a psycho at all. People like you are ignorant and should stfu before you open your mouth about something you know nothing about.

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  • And to add, his scars don't gross me out or anything. They are beautiful because they are a part of him. Anytime I see the scars I just like to kiss them, because I wish I could go back in time and take away all that pain that caused him to do that.

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  • sparrowfeed

    ya, i'll be honest.. i'd hesitate to take a guy with a depressive or other disorder.. and if i saw marks, i'd definitely question.

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  • It's not about getting a rush, it's about being unable to express feelings. It's like if something really bad has happened, I mean really, really bad, it was easy to take comfort from cutting than to admit.

    I know it was pathetic but people who do cut, need help not hinderance. Sometimes a few kind words is all it takes to restore hope.

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    • sparrowfeed

      i don't know.. i always find comfort in writing things down.. i don't know how comfort can come from so painful an act.

      nevertheless, i had a best friend who used to cut. just never understood the mentality behind it.

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      • I get comfort from writing too but it's hard to explain. It's hard to really convey why people cut but I do know there is mostly always a reason behind the action.

        I eventually learned to siphon my emotions into songs and poems and I haven't cut myself for five years now. I also don't intend to ever again.

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  • zchristian

    thats not emo its not the same

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  • I used to cut as well, now my scars have faded but they're still faintly noticeable.

    I never think of them as "emo" though because when I was 15 there was no such thing.

    But it's normal to be insecure about them. Just be yourself and it's only someone else's problem if they don't like it.

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  • Anon125690

    I know exactly how you feel, I was in the same position two years ago, I have scars on both arms, both legs and stomach.
    From my personal experience I can tell you it gets better, I do admit thag I'm the same, I'm very insecure around everyone, but two years ago I met my current boyfriend and opening up to him made it feel like nothjng else mattered! There's always someone who will comfort you and make you feel a lot better about them, you just have to wait to meet that person. As soon as Thag happened for me I stopped caring about being insecure because I had one person to make me feel on top of the world, you'll meet that person too

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  • Avant-Garde

    It's normal to be insecure about them. Wear long sleeves if at all possible. Bracelets should be able to hid them as long as they aren't flashy. A light material based hoodie, something you could pull off in most climes. Wear men's basketball shorts or jeans to cover up your bottom half. The first cut sounds like it could be infected so you might want to get it checked out. If you're not a minor, I don't think doctors will ask about your scars.

    Good Luck!

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  • Its_Called_Love

    Wait to have sex with someone who actually loves you and you won't have a problem.

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  • Geneva5

    Who cares if you have scars - who cares if your an emo - just get over it - if someone don't like you cos of yr scars you dont want to know them.

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  • Brittany666

    I use to cut myself, too. And now ever since I've stopped I always look at them and if I even touch where they are, they hurt for some weird reason. There's this gel that slowly makes scars less appear-able though, its called Mederma. Maybe, it'll help? Mine are less shown because of that stuff.

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  • alyshama

    I used to cut when I was about 14, I am 21 now and done with it. Its summer now so when I get tan they show up more and for me its more like I don't want my family to see and think anything because I never told them (except my older brother who was a complete jerk about it). Just like someone who may have tell-tale physical signs of drug or alcohol abuse, you don't want to be judged for something that carries such a stigma when you've already moved on from it. I just make up stories if anyone asks, because you don't have to tell everyone about your most personal struggles, you can choose who you tell those things to.

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  • Just lie about where they're from. Just say a cat scratched you or you got a burn from a pan or something.

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    • Slice_N_Dice

      Way to go, Einstein, a cat scratched her an M and adorned it with a little heart? Having been cut by Zorro is probably a more feasible excuse.

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  • hotchickie81

    So sorry to hear this. But you are not alone. I too have scars along my wrists, and I hate them. My last cutting session happened in February of this year, so my scars are still dark purple. They look worse when I'm cold. I am so self consious of these scars, and it sucks cause we're actually getting the hottest summer in YEARS. I'm embarassed when I go to family functions and out with friends. I really hope they fade soon. My last scars did fade, but those cuts weren't nearly as deep.

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  • And I would never encourage anyone to self-harm, it was the worst years of my life.

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  • I do see your point slightly but cutting isn't for attention in the normal sense of the word.

    I don't know how to explain, it's not like just cutting yourself and showing off the scars, that is blatant attention seeking, it's more like not being able to express whatever is bothering you, so by cutting you secretly hope someone will notice but at the same time don't want them to notice.

    Oh, I'm not making sense. XD Either way cutting isn't a healthy thing to do, so for those who do, please get some help.

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  • I did say it was hard to explain, I'm just relaying what I was told by doctors etc.

    Bear in mind, I harmed years ago and so nowadays if I scrape my arm by accident, it hurts and I don't like it at all.

    But I stand by what I say, there is always another issue at work. It can be worse than bullying or being cheated on.

    I think unless someones been in that place themselves, it's not easy to understand the actuality.

    :/ lol :P

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  • firefly88

    Cover em with tatoos

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  • If you're going to have sex, it should be w/ someone you're comfortable with that will accept you, even your scars. Maybe some (thighs?) could pass as stretch marks? Also, go to the doctor & see what laser surgeries they have.

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  • Hear, hear!

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  • Biohazard

    If someone who cares about u and wants to be with u will be upset u USED to cut they'll be happy u don't anymore.

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  • Chelfree9

    I used to cut myself on my wrist but people started to notice so now i wear a sweat-ban on it. I still cut on my shoulder so I cant go swimming or wear tank-tops no matter how hot and it kills me so i think it is normal.

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  • i used to cut myself tooo but only for an adrenaline rush lol didnt reli get me hyped though now mine r realy visiable which i hate but i dont care what othewrs think lol

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