Is it normal-in love but ashamed at lack of physical attraction

77% Normal
4 Comments

Hi,
I really love my boyfriend and obviously that makes him physically attractive to me, but I feel ashamed at the fact that I just don't feel that 'turned on' by him. I can't tell him this as he's he's really insecure about the way he looks and is always saying he's 'too fat, or not good enough for me' which is not true as he is the loveliest person I know. I'd never consider cheating on him (couldn't imagine being with another man) or being selfish and saying something that would hurt him.Does anyone else ever feel this way?
p.s yes I know if I love him so much I shouldn't care what he looks like, and i dnt...sadly my libido doesn't listen to my heart, which I admit I am very ashamed of.

Voting Results
77% Normal
Based on 35 votes (27 yes)
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Comments ( 4 )
  • KuhnLover
    12 years ago

    I don't understand how people can be in love with somone but not be attracted or "turned on" by them.. Not trying to be rude but I really don't understand..

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  • Simp1y_C0mp1ex
    12 years ago

    Its his lack of confidence that ur turned off by.

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  • la_uva_mojada
    11 years ago

    I had this same situation in a past l relationship. it lasted 3 years. in hind sight i realize i liked him more than i really loved him. i never cried once after we broke up.

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  • Isabella80s
    11 years ago

    More common than you'd think and I think Simply_Complex has a good point. In a loving relationship, it's often the case that physical attraction and sex become the thin end of the wedge and then everything else means more. I hope that makes sense. It would be shallow to dump someone because they're not turning you on physically as much as perhaps they could if you're really in love with them. The sexual, physical part of an r'ship can be worked on but if two people aren't compatible or don't actually love eachother, that can't be fixed. Although, if there's no physical attraction at all, that's a bit different. I've just realised this is an old ish post! I hope you worked it out.

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