Is it normal in a relationship but miss being single

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I got back with my long-term boyfriend a few months ago. We've been on and off for more than six years, but before we got back together we had an open relationship for a year. During that time I slept with a few people then developed strong feelings for a new friend, who ended up sleeping with me then knocking me back. I got back with my ex quite soon after this happened...maybe it was something of a rebound thing, although I love my ex very deeply.

When we first got back together, I was very happy and felt strongly committed. I was given the opportunity to cheat with someone I was very attracted to and didn't. But now I keep dreaming about my single life. I keep dreaming about cheating on my boyfriend. I really love him but we have a bad sex life and I keep dreaming about sex with other men. I don't know what is important - the deep love I have for my boyfriend, who is in a way almost like family to me now, which is the kind of love that will last forever because we love and know each other so well. Or my sexual satisfaction. My boyfriend and I don't click sexually and never will - I;ve tried working on it but it can't be fixed (he has a great time though :P). How important is sex if you have strong and overriding love and trust in each other? is it normal that I'm finding it so hard to suppress my sexual urges? WTF SHOULD I DO??????

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Comments ( 1 )
  • DonnieLighto
    11 years ago

    Yeah, tough one. You'll regret not having these sexual experiences with other men when you look back on this time of your life. But, also prepare yourself for the emotions that are associated with it, especially if you're pump and dumped by some guy who sweet talked you into bed. Better to scratch the itch now than when you're married.

    It sounds like this relationship with your BF has been over with for a long time. Once you get to the "let's see other people" phase, what's the point of being together? It's terribly painful to break up with someone you have so much love for, but what can you do? And this time, don't give him ANY hint of hope that you might change your mind - he'll stay stuck on you if you do the "who knows what tomorrow brings" line.

    If you really want to be awesome, introduce him to some of your hot friends. Or convince one of your friends to give him a BJ. It'll give him hope for his own sexual future with other women. I mean it. That would make you the coolest chick evah. I know you're probably going to laugh at that, but I'm quite serious - when a guy gets dumped, he needs some sort of confidence boost that his future will still be abundant with sex and that he's still desirable by other women. Don't just disregard this part of my advice. If you love him so much, softening the enormous pain he's going to feel will give him positive memories of this relationship when he reminisces about it in the future.

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