Is it normal im scared to tell my boyfriend im in recovery from heroin

84% Normal
27 Comments

Im in what addicts call early recovery. I used heroin and been thru many horrible experiences gun related, bad cities, homless, ect. I feel like my boyfriend doesnt know the whole me .. just the new sober me. He knows nothing about my traumatic past experiences and scared he will react and leave me in shock. Maybe the time just isnt right yet ? Anyone please help. And if you have anything negative to say about me my past and or recovery. Dont bother commenting please. Thank you

Voting Results
84% Normal
Based on 62 votes (52 yes)
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Comments ( 27 )
  • RoseIsabella
    8 years ago

    What does your sponsor think, honey? I can't tell you want to do, but how much you disclose about your addiction should ideally depend on where the relationship is going and how long you've known him. Take your time, stay in your recovery program and remember progress not perfection. Easy does it.

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    • Lonely2
      8 years ago

      Most sponsors will tell people to stay out of relationships for at least a year because feelings are so shifting and thenormal stresses of relationship orbreak ups can seriously threaten your sobriety

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Thank you i moved away from my home town because of how bad the drugs were in my area i used to go to meetings i go to indivudial drug and alcohol therapy because im shy in group therapy and mostly used alone as well

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  • Lonely2
    8 years ago

    I didnt even begin to come to grips with my past for 10 years of sobriety...even 20 years later I am still struggling with it

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  • sillygirl77
    8 years ago

    It's normal for you to be scared but tell him before it gets serious. If he's not going to be accepting and supportive of your recovery, it's better to know now than when you get too deep!

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Thanks your right hes a great guy. Treats me amazing nice car and job. I feel like hell look down on me if he knows even if he does support me because being an addict has such a bad sigma to ppl who arent educated about it and he knows nothing about it really. And i dont want him to be mad i didnt tell him sooner. I just feel like the time isnt right becase im only coming up on 2 weeks clean. And im also ashamed to tell him i have major depression and aniexty and on medication for it

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      • heroinsuicide
        8 years ago

        Two months clean sorry

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        • sillygirl77
          8 years ago

          Congrats on your 2 months clean and best of luck with everything!

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          • heroinsuicide
            8 years ago

            Thank you i struggled for years i really want to make this it for me im giving it my all. Im only 20 its been going in 6 7 years now

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            • deepdankstickygoo
              8 years ago

              You started banging heroin when you were 14??? You are still young. You have got plenty of time to do the things you want to do.

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  • donteatstuffoffthesidewalk
    8 years ago

    how does yall feel bout goin back on the shit?

    is yall fearin a relapse or totally over it?

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Hes never done drugs in his life and has no idea i was a heroin adicct for six years . I moved away from my home town an met him here and started a new life. I never plan on going back and im in love with him and my life sober

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      • Lonely2
        8 years ago

        How long have you been sober?

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  • 53739
    8 years ago

    I think you should tell him but be careful with it. Show him that you do feel guilt and regret about what you did and that you're sorry for doing drugs and that now you have changed. If I was your boyfriend I would totally respect you more for coming clean like that, as long as you showed that it was behind you in the past. Good luck.

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Thank you i appriciate your input :)

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  • xfg14
    8 years ago

    Perfectly okay to be secretive about your past. I would never get anyone to trust me enough to come back to my place if I just blatantly told them my history.

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    • Lonely2
      8 years ago

      of course we can limit our own story but why..that is a big part of who we are ..there is no need to be ashamed of yourself if you have truely come to grips with and seriously changed

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Thank you:)

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      • Lonely2
        8 years ago

        Being ashamed of yourself is a recipe for relapse...but dont fake it either..it takes real time and sobriety to truely accept who you are..2 months is not enough time to deal with these issues

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  • GrayHulk99
    8 years ago

    are you daddy or the mommy in this gay relationship?

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Im a women lol not a mommy yet and im straight

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  • NekoKitty
    8 years ago

    I'll keep it simple: If you didn't love him or care about him, then you wouldn't be scared.
    So yes, it's normal.

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  • iEatZombies_
    8 years ago

    To be perfectly honest, it sounds as though you're chasing a different high, now that the high you had is gone. When you've always had something to lean on, it's hard to know how to stand tall. Even if what you had was hurting you more than helping, you knew how to do it. Don't fall into that pattern by being in a relationship right now. Learn that you can live with yourself before you live with someone else.
    As for whether or not you want to tell him, only you can decide that. Consider the consequences for each scenario and decide which one you can deal with best.

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  • Eagwol
    8 years ago

    He doesn't have to know, and you don't have to feel sorry about it. It doesn't matter who you use to be, what matters is who you are now. So yeah he doesn't know your past but that doesn't mean he doesn't know you, because he does know you, who you became when you two got together.

    You don't have to tell him because you don't owe him a history. It's about moving forward, together. Not about letting history of who you use to be get in the way.

    If you still want to tell him I suggest that you think on it some more. But before you do, you have to be okay with what you fear about him possibly leaving. If he leaves it just proves what you two have is fickle. A recovering butterfly still deserves better than fickle love. Just give it some time, he could still stay with you, none of us knows him. Good luck to you :).

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    • heroinsuicide
      8 years ago

      Thank u very much

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