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I've been in a relationship for a lil over 4 yrs. But for some reason I am not sexually attracted. I would put every excuse in the book so I won't have intimacy with him. He just doesn't do it the way I want it to be done. I just don't know why I have lasted so many years like this. We argue all day every day. Is this normal.
You said spouse, not boyfriend, so I recommend you don't listen to the majority of comments and "get the hell out of there."
I read an article from a relationship therapist once, one of her major comments was that men who don't treat their wife properly, or respect them like they once used to (Getting flowers, I love you's, hugs, kisses) often complain to the therapist that they aren't getting sex, but if he's still putting in the effort to keep his wife happy, then she's usually willing to have sex with him. This could be part of the problem. Keep in mind this goes both ways, women can neglect their husband in the same ways.
I guess what I'm saying is if you want to get your relationship going back on the right track, find the main issue. Is he treating you right, are you treating him right? Talk to him of coarse, and don't get mad!! You have to hear him out or else you'll just start fighting again. Agree to disagree on certain things, but most importantly remember, sex isn't everything. If you're not being sexually pleased by your husband, it's certainly a problem, but a realtionship shouldn't revlove around it, or else it can get boring fast. This is all presumptuouse of coarse, as I don't know you personally, but I hope things work out for you :)
~cheers
No it isn't normal. It isn't fair for you to have to have sex with someone you aren't attracted to. It isn't fair for him to be recieving no intimacy. It isn't fair for either of you to be fighitng every day... so basically what I am saying is that NO it isn't normal and you guys should probably break up. I know you probably love him, but common... remember what it feels like to have an orgasm?!?!?!?!
Well, I would say either try to be more sexually open and work this out, go see a sex or marriage (or both) counselor, try to work it out, or concede that this marriage is over and be willing to spare him the trouble.
I feel bad for him. You probably should not have married him in the first place. Maybe you can sex train him, I'm doing a pretty good job on that with my husband.
You've been with someone for four years and aren't attracted to them?
The problem is that you're really stupid as far as i can see. I mean do you really even need to be told how dumb this question is?
Either give him a few pointers to hit the home run or get the hell out of there. Sexual attraction is very important if you want a good healthy relationship and most importantly sex life.
You're not right for each other I guess. I've been through this - it's like you want it to work but you just get it to work right.