Is it normal if im a different person with my current bf than w my ex?

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I feel as if I was this really confident person with my ex and he was the not so confident one. I was the one who had something to offer him and thats what he really liked of me. I showed him a different side to life and he couldn't stay away from me cause not to sound harsh but I rescued his dull life I suppose. Its obvious the one who was more into the relationship was him. Everything he felt about me is how I feel about my bf now and everything he prob felt around me is prob the same way I feel around my bf now. My bf now to me was everything I was to my ex. With that being said, I wish I can be the confident person I was around my ex with my current dude. He would love the person I am or was with my ex and so would I. But I wonder why is this? why did the tables flip? why can we both be the confident individuals we are together? I think it might be because of how into I am with my bf. Sometimes you feel like you're not good enough for them and your confidence level just goes down. Is this possible? Is this normal?

Lately, I've gotten more confident like the girl I was with my ex by not being too clingy but I miss him (my current bf) as hard as I hold myself back from talking to him and stuff.

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Based on 8 votes
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Comments ( 12 )
  • JD777
    8 years ago

    Turnabouts happen. And sometimes the dominance flip flops happen in the same relationship from time to time. Your new bf may just be a more dynamic person than your ex. As long as you are happy and he treats you well (never does or says anything to cause you to feel less confident) you'll build up your confidence and feel more on his level.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      I guess the most dominant will always out dominant the other. If my ex were to see my behavior with my bf now, he'd find it weird cause he's used to seeing me as the dominant/confidence one.

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  • mystery7
    8 years ago

    Maybe because you were feeling like you had the upper hand in your previous relationship and you felt you could always call the shots. You may have treated the ex BF harshly because you had hand.

    Life often has a way of putting the shoe on the other foot so we can understand things from the other point of view.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      so is this like karma?

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  • regisphilbin
    8 years ago

    normal because no one is the same around everyone

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  • thegypsysailor
    8 years ago

    Have you ever heard the saying that someone either brings out the best in somebody or the worst?
    "My wife brings out the best in me." or "Whenever I'm with John he seems to bring the worst out in me and I always get in trouble."

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      8 years ago

      Yeah so what are you exactly saying? that my bf right now isn't right for me if he brings out the worst in me?

      If so, it sucks and its not fair since I like him wayyyyy more than my ex, he does make me feel good and happy in general and he's not right for me? How messed up

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      • (s)aint
        8 years ago

        I would say; You were not as into your ex, but now that you are with someone you care a lot for you get clingy.

        As another clingy person ...what´s the harm? I mean I know that my clinginess is extreme but I try to make the outlets as positive as possible from it towards my BF.

        It would be disastrous for someone like me to be with a really distanced partner. Maybe your Bf is not showing you the attention and appreciation that you would really need?

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          8 years ago

          He doesn't really show much attention or appreciation but he says he just has trouble displaying emotion. Im not clingy in general, I wasn't with my ex, but with current bf I don't think I am still but cause he doesn't show me enough emotion, it makes me want it more. therefore, I may come off clingy and I don't like that

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          • (s)aint
            8 years ago

            I sadly see this in a lot of cases, girls assuming there´s something wrong with them when it´s really something wrong with the guy they are seeing.

            I get clingy even when I have cuddled with my boyfriend for hours and he´s been gaming for thirty minutes x´D

            But slowly getting better at that, and that´s the point.

            You need to address that issue because you wont be happy in this relationship.

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              8 years ago

              Im not exactly sure though what to address to him. I can't really tell him what I explained in my post, either hell be confused or this is just too much info for him, I'd like to keep this to myself.

              But what I would tell him is what? He needs to show me more appreciation or as much as he says he appreciates me or else Imma come off as clingy?

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