Is it normal if i worship looks of someone i dislike?

First off, at least im being honest. So there is this female who I havent seen in almost a year but the last time we were around each other it wasnt the best time of my life. Besides the fact that I couldnt stand her for any longer and so gave her the deets and pretty much yelled in her face til she couldnt stand my breath, um she made me feel real sh*tty. Now, before any predictable thoughts you may have, I didnt dislike her because of the way she made me feel, but just because of how she portrayed herself; very high school ish, loud, obnoxious, and the one that stood out the most was how she claimed to be blunt when really she was being rude to everyone. So I made sure she knew the differences. Despite all of that though, I think she is one of the most, if not thee most, attractive being Ive seen. Again, I am not JEALOUS as many pple probably think (so typical -_-). Im being honest even if i hate the person she is, that she is really attractive and made me feel like an ugly fattass (im not fat but shes long and lean while im just whatever even though a lot say i have a nice body im like wait til you see her). So the point is that im not jealous because i hate her for being pretty and making me feel like crap, but I hate her inside while the outside is such a waste. It belongs to someone who is also pretty inside, that person be one individual. Anyways, I dont have low self-esteem but when i was next to her or around her, I couldnt be there any longer because i just felt growse while she was in shape and everything. It was such an unconfortable time in my life all because I was extremely insecure because of her presence plus how much I hated her as a person. It was just.......blahhhhhh. So happy im out of there but still freaked that shes out there and she can come back and take my shine away again. When i look at her pistures on facebook, she just keeps getting gorgious and if I were a manager, id be hers for modeling jobs because i think she can make it. All ill have to do is fix that personality of hers a bit and well be set to go.