Is it normal if i wish i stayed a nerd?

When I was in elementary and middle school, I was a full on nerd. All I cared about was school. Then during middle school, it kind of got to me that "looks" and "reputation" was an important part of life. So I tried balancing it out, my looks and my studies. But eventually, i got so obsessed with how I came off socially that I just prioritized my studies last. Not like I completely fell off, but I definitely didn't put as much attention to education or other important things like before. I started watching reality shows because it just appealed to me so much and I felt like this would be my number one tool to learn how to come off in society the "kool" or acceptable way. It totally backfired and I didn't even know it back then. I was so confused why my strategy wasn't working. Now I'm 22, and I just regret everything yet I'm still doing the same thing, watching reality tv because I do like it, but i know what I'm doing obviously, I'm older and more mature. But I wish I continued being a nerd because i feel like right now I would've been a lot smarter and wiser. Now I feel like I'm known for not being so bright at times but I am considered to be attractive. Today, people are huge hypocrites. They say "looks aren't everything" especially on social media but in reality, the not so attractive ones yet bright ones get underrated. So sometimes I get reserved because I am good looking but I know myself that I'm not that smart. Sometimes, I do show my nerdy side and it gets shot down. Idk I don't get it and I can totally not pay attention to this stupid shit but unfortunately, I'm a person and persons interact with other persons on a daily basis to survive and get by so I have to go through this identity crisis. I know I'm still young, but a lot of my peers my age seem like they have it together while I feel like I'm still trapped in the body of that middle schooler. She never grew up.