Is it normal if i want to see myself like this?
First of all, I grew up watching reality tv shows and I still do. I love it. But watching those shows young really has impacted me today. I guess cause it is portrayed as "real life" I took it seriously to the point where I expect the same things to happen in actual real life. For example, like a plot, like there is a solution to every problem, basically like life is a script. So basically I am not in touch with "reality" because I think life is like a "reality show." So with that being said, as a person I am very self-conscious. I am always wanting to know what people think of me, how people see me, kind of like how we view reality tv people. We label them or at least define them as a certain type of person and so that person has an idea of how they come off to people and who they are. I want that. So in a way, I want my life to be in a reality show (even though the topic of it being real or not is still debated)so I have an idea of who I am to the world, what my life is like, who am I.