Is it normal if i want to go back to having just a crush on him?

71% Normal
6 Comments

I'm seeing this guy and it all started as the usual, as a crush. First, I was sort of in a relationship (but not really cause it was slowly falling apart)when I met this guy and second I literally just saw him as a really kool friend that I would just be attracted to and thats it. I have a few of those guy friends where you feel like theres something but you're just friends at the moment and the whole tension is fun to play with because its nothing serious. Thats what I thought he was going to be. However, we just kept texting each other and meeting up at parties and eventually slept with each other (after I broke up w my ex). At first I was like okay i guess were now "friends with benefits?" So it went from that "cute friend zone" to "friends with benefits." Then we just kept hanging out and eventually started catching real feelings. We started going out to eat, doing errands together, just chillin even without having sex, etc. This is where I believe hell began. What are we? What are our boundaries? How do we act in public? Do we tell people were each other's? Its just been so complicated ever since that I wish I can go back to that "cute friend zone" where i just had a crush and I can just fantasize us being together like we are right now but in my head where nothing can go wrong. As creepy as this sounds, I used to like stalking him when we were just starting to hook up. It was fun because it was nothing serious. The other day I saw him and ideally I'd go up to him and say hi but cause it still get awkward here and there I decided to stay away and just watch him. This would be even more fun if he was just a crush. But then I do think of how much I am crazy about him and how much fun we have had these months despite the downfalls. Do i wanna go back to just having a crush? or i should be happy I am actually with my crush which not many people get the chance of having? I am just tired of caring so much because when you do, you get hurt just as much. I miss that care-free feeling. Is this normal?

Voting Results
71% Normal
Based on 14 votes (10 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    It takes courage to love. And i hope you see why. Do you have enough courage or are you a coward?

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  • notanormalgirl207
    10 years ago

    It's super normal! Just go for it! You have nothing to lose! :)

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  • Griff
    10 years ago

    You can't go back anyway so you might as well stop fantasizing that things could ever be the way they were.

    I don't understand what the problem is, its perfectly possible the guy has the same feelings you have for him, at least from your post it sounds like a pretty positive relationship, especially since you can hang out and sex doesn't have to be on the cards. He clearly likes being in your company.

    I think your scared of being hurt, but this is completely normal when you are falling for someone. I would say, jump in with both feet, nothing is gained really by trying to play it cool, either he feels the same or will stop seeing you. If its the former then enjoy it, if its the latter it'll be upsetting but at least you'll know.

    You could spend your life avoiding involvement with people, this would be a wasted life, or you can risk caring for someone, either way - life is richer and more satisfying if you don't fear it.

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  • Sog
    10 years ago

    I don't think it's normal that you just glossed over the part where you have all these guy friends that you keep around "just for fun" because there's sexual tension there.

    Or that you slept with this guy and your first thought was, "Oh, I guess we're FWB now" and not "Oh, maybe we should talk about our relationship."

    You sound like a

    Excuse me while I censor myself because that's not a kind thing to say.

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  • moomus
    10 years ago

    Why don't you just ask him straight out? If u feel comfortable enough to sleep
    With him u should feel comfortable enough to ask

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  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    Have you ever had a friends with benefits? It's normal not to know what you are in this type of relationship. It's confusing as fuck, pardon my language. It's also the most pointless relationship you could be in, in the end someones going to get fucked over.

    Here's some advice from someone that has had a friends with benefits, don't fuck with it, don't go near it, don't think well, "Gee, there's no way this could go bad." It will and you'll wish you could have slapped the shit out of your past self.

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