Is it normal if i see things this way in terms of loving someone?

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6 Comments

So I've had lots of talks and observations about this topic. Who should you love? The one who loves and cares about you? OR the one you naturally have feelings for but doesn't show it back as much? To me, I'd go with the second one. Why? because to be with someone that you don't even like as a person but they love and care for you seems cruel to me. Its like you feel like you should be with them since no one else would care for you this much. I would feel like crap if someone was with me because they had no one else.
However, Im seeing the majority feel like this is the right thing to do and it scares me cause who knows how many couples are together just cause they know that the other partner loves them? and they don't even like their partner as person for their style and character. I rather be with someone that I naturally have feelings for and work for it to see if they like me as much. Or I rather be with someone that I naturally like and they like me too but don't show it as much as the person who shows it a lot. I feel like its a waste of time to make yourself love them back.
My ex loves me and cares for me but I never liked him as a person. Maybe for a short time but then the fact I initially didn't like him caught on to me and I broke up with him because I was just wasting my time. The guy I am seeing now does like me but he shows it less than my ex. BUT I am so into him. I can't help but smile whenever I think of him, hear his name, see his name, etc. I NEVER felt this about my ex. I appreciate how he feels about me but unfortunately you can't have everything you want. He's more of a friend and thats it. Love includes passion, intimacy and attraction. All of that lacks when you try loving someone back just cause they feel that way about you. Trust me I know from experience. So I just hope people don't feel bad about liking someone who might not be too expressive or not liking someone who loves them because in the end its what the heart wants, not what the mind is telling you what you should want. The heart comes first then the mind comes in for rational reasons.
I know this is long but hope people take the time to read and understand it.

Voting Results
62% Normal
Based on 13 votes (8 yes)
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Comments ( 6 )
  • Fall_leaves
    10 years ago

    So I loved my ex for five years, he rarely reciprocated those feelings. I knew he cared but he never expressed it as much as I did for him. My heart wanted him, but in that period of five years id met a few sweet and loving guys. In my mind I knew these guys were better for me but I went with my heart and stayed with mister half ass it.

    I regret it. Five years of a sorry ass relationship. Your mind comes first, your heart should come second. You should decide on real reasons why a person is the right match for you. Love is important but it's not what is going to make a relationship last. You have to both be on the same page, working towards a real goal, figuring out where you see your lives going and if you both see a future together.

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  • Shackleford96
    10 years ago

    Pro tip: use some paragraph breaks please.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    This is a topic I will likely never understand, but I will give my thoughts on it.

    Personally I cannot imagine having those feelings for someone who didn't feel that way about me.
    One thing I like the most in a person is how much they appreciate me. If someone doesn't have appreciation for me, I have no interest in getting to know them at all.

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    • RoseIsabella
      10 years ago

      Amen hallelujah!

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  • Gspyder
    10 years ago

    You can love whoever you want, but a functional relationship requires both people to care for the other. And true love is when each person loves the other more than themself.

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  • thegypsysailor
    10 years ago

    A good relationship should be an equal partnership. But not showing love and saying I love you often, does not necessarily mean someone loves you any less that a person who is more vocal about all that.
    Some people have trouble expressing their feelings, but it doesn't mean their feelings are less strong.
    Maturity has a lot to do with how well a relationship works. A 5 year relationship between 15 and 20 will be completely different than one between the same people at 25 to 30.
    In a mature relationship, communication will resolve most of these sorts of issues, but young people may have difficulty discussing things openly and honestly, as they may not be certain just who they are yet, what they really want or how they really feel.

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