Is it normal if i only want to be in a relationship for experience?

54% Normal
13 Comments

Basically, I have my own plan that I dont know if others share this too but my future is set. I know where I want to live and die, settle down in, career and my husbands career, etc. In terms of relationships, Ive never had one (Im 20) by choice because I know who I want my husband to be. Hes the only one I want to be with in a relationship and eventually have sex.
But I feel as if by the time we get together, Im going to lack experience on how to be a girlfriend. So I decided okay why not just give a guy a chance so I can get that experience. Of course we have to have chemistry and actually like each other, im not just gonne use anyone. With that being said, yah I still talk to guys, mess around but nothing more like relationship and sex cause Im saving that for my future husband.
Ive been seeing this guy who treats me so right I dont know how to react but I think okay if I want experience and change I should just break my shell already and take this chance plus to learn the relationship ways. I guess Ive just built such a wall of being hard and not vulnerable that at this point, I should be mature enough to not laugh about a guy being sweet holding my hand. I feel like this guy could not just be my experience but my first true bond w a guy; he makes me feel normal, comfortable and confident (hmm sounds like my future hubby) that this can be my first relationship because he does genuinely like me...I hope.
It makes me excited to be vulnerable but scared that I might screw up as a "gf" cause I dont know how to be one although I know what makes a good relationship (its one of those things where you cant take your own advice). Also feel like I might be making a mistake of letting myself go to someone whos not my future husband. Maybe I should just stick to my normal rules and plus I dont like being exposed if you havent noticed already.
Wow this is long.

Voting Results
54% Normal
Based on 56 votes (30 yes)
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Comments ( 13 )
  • DefinitelyNotNormal89
    12 years ago

    This is so confusing.

    You already know who you want to marry but you don't want to be a disappointment so you've decided to get some experience and now you're seeing another guy and he treats you right so he could be a potential future husband but you only want a relationship with your future husband even though you seem to be forming one with the guy you're seeing but you KNOW who you're future husband is and yet you're still having a relationship and will probably end up losing your virginity to the guy you're seeing even though that is not want you want?

    HOW CONFUSING IS THAT?!

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      No no when I said "sounds like my future husband" I meant the way the guy I'm seeing right now treats me sounds like the guy I see as my future husband. I didn't also refer to him as my future husband, noooo. Besides that, you got everything else right...lol so sorry if you're still confused.

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    • theabider
      12 years ago

      I love it.

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  • admirer
    12 years ago

    I'm not sure how normal it is but I do think it's ok.
    I see relationships as something very indefinite unless both (or more) involved are making obvious effort to make the relationship a strong, long-term one.
    Do what feels good & works for you.
    Just one thing though, babe; don't beat yourself up if things don't always pan out as you hoped they would. John Lennon said, "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans." & I think there's a lot of truth to that.
    Maybe, consider being a little more flexible with your life?
    A frigid tree that won't sway with the wind will be broken by it. The wind doesn't give a damn what the tree's plans were.

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Normal!!! :)

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  • qzack96
    12 years ago

    Give a guy a chance?

    What makes you think any guy would give you a shot, you self absorbed filthy idiot?

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  • Gurlie
    12 years ago

    I don't think it's normal. I think you need to lower your expectations. It is really really hard to find the "perfect" hubby. Love isn't something you can just be all like, "boom you're my perfect match so I'm going to love you and you're going to love me." it doesn't work that way. You need to be open to falling in love with anyone.

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  • Shadowgirl
    12 years ago

    Eh?? Really how are you so very sure who your future husband is going to be?

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  • JuliusE
    12 years ago

    Lol so you think you'll know your future husband right when you see him? You seem to have avoid head on your shoulders but just keep in mind life will always change your plans. I promise you, your life will not go according to plan. Maybe most things will, but there's not a chance in hell everything will. Let your guard down a little bit, you will know in time whether he's your future husband or not. Just let it happen naturally. If he's not than he's not but if he is it will work out. Make sense?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Well yeah that's another reason why I want to give this guy a chance because what if my future husband does find someone else and I am left alone because I committed to him so much? As much as I don't want to even consider us not happening, I feel like I should break out of my shell and see if someone has something better to offer than he does (which I incredibly doubt).

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  • [Old Memory]
    12 years ago

    Nothing in this world can be planned out. If you like this guy, and he likes you, then don't break up after you have sex. He could be the one and frankly he sounds like it to. Also don't freak out much over not having experience.

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    12 years ago

    You, lady, are weird in the head

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      12 years ago

      Oh yes I am and I mean I am asking if this is normal right? so apparently its not according to you. And so, thanks for answering the question :)

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