Is it normal if i'm going backwards at my age?

I'm in my early twenties and feel like I want what everybody else has and everybody else wants what I already have. I'm referring to learning how to be alone. It seems like everyone especially at my age is at that stage where they want to pursue being alone and being fine with it but not only that but they admire it and praise it. To be honest, I find it super hypocritical but is it really a surprise from my generation? Nope. But anyways while they claim they wanna be alone and happy by themselves, I'm over here being a pro at it and wanting some friends. I know if people saw that I am alone in this world and I'm actually genuinely happy hanging out by myself, they would call me a loser or a loner. They have no idea what it truly feels like to be alone, to not have anyone message them to hang out, to go to restaurants and eat by themselves, to talk to yourself while walking or at home, etc. And yet there they are announcing the "art" of being alone and how powerful it is. I think it's a huge load of crap because I don't think none of them can stand being by themselves for a day.

I'm not hating I'm just being real. It's frustrating to someone who's originally a loner if you wanna call it that. Well now I am seeking friends while people say learn to be by yourself I'm like I've already conquered that! You wouldn't know because you don't know what its truly like to be okay by yourself. It's just all mixed up now, not sure how to make friends when we're clearly at different stages.

Voting Results
40% Normal
Based on 15 votes (6 yes)
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Comments ( 16 )
  • Tealights

    Being alone and being lonely are different.

    Being alone is living your life for you, and genuinely having a good time exploring all that you can whether it be outside with strangers who are slowly becoming friends, alone in the house with a good book, travelling, or playing online games and meeting new people.

    You on the other hand, you're simply just lonely. Humans need interaction with others, and that's perfectly normal. Just think of ways to make friends. Pick a setting you're comfortable and knowledgeable about (e.g. if you knit, join a knitting club or something), and say hi.

    The people who admire your loneliness don't fully understand what they're talking about. These people are probably in and out of relationships not knowing what they want (nor taking the time think about it), plague with the delusional fear of dying alone, and desperately clinging to someone, anyone to fill that void; when in actuality all they needed was a friend and time to get to know themselves. Though the idea of having a partner is nice, life doesn't always have to be a duo to enjoy, and being comfortable alone isn't the same as being lonely.

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    • No I'm actually "alone," speaking in your terms. I'm okay with being alone but I don't mind having friends and socializing more now. I did say Im seeking friends, I didn't say I dont want any.

      My post is a mixture of me trying to find friends and my frustration I have with people especially my generation because they're being hypocrites. They have no idea what it's like to really be alone and fine with it. I give them a day to survive without socializing. They say they wanna be alone and preach how everyone should try it yet theyre the same people who bully those who are alone it's like shut up. It's just these hipster like retards that don't know what they're talking about. It's similar to how being "weird" is glorified now by the same people who bullied those who were truly weird in HS. Like okay now you wanna be weird cause its a trend and its cool? No

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  • RoseIsabella

    Loneliness and solitude are two different things.

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    • Yeah Im referring to solitude

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      • _Jesus_

        Can't remember when last I played solitaire

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  • mysistersshadow

    If you want to make friends go to where ppl with common intetests are and mingle. You have to put yourself out there no ones going to come to your door and ask if you want a friend.

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    • I agree and I am trying. But I also have no filter and can't put up with anything that annoys me or turns me off. It's like that quote that Im sure youve come across that says "the realist people have less friends" its so true

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      • mysistersshadow

        So... are you waiting for ppl to change or are you willing to address the common denominator in your social interactions?

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        • I've actually tried identifying the common denominator but honestly I have no idea what prevents me from making friends, I don't know what it is that people get turned off by me. Im actually friendly, a good listener and attractive physically and more good things. If I was mean or disruptive I'd try to change but since I can't pinpoint what it is I can't change it. I just think I'm different and not like everyone else so people don't know what to do with me. Like I said I have no filter so I know 99% of people on this earth pretend to like something or to be good so they easily make friends where I just can't fake it so people see the truth with me and possibly don't know what to do. Other than that, I'm nice and friendly. What also urks me is seeing people who are ruthless or jerks making tons of friends like how do they have a lot of friends and I don't? If that's the case then I don't find it worth it to make friends

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          • mysistersshadow

            Just becos you have a thought doesn't mean you have to let it out. Everyone has a internal monologue most of choose to keep it internal.

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            • Well by no filter I mean like I'll try to hide it but it shows some way. Whether I say how I feel or not, it's going to show. If I'm annoying it's going to show and onbviously it's gonna spread negativity and that's it. I just can't hold back it's too much energy

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  • SirChazwick

    You sound like a gutless and whiny little bitch. Boo hoo.

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    • Wah

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  • riffraffy

    Loneliness is a self-inflicted disease. It stems from fear of social interaction--a consequence of having a huge ego. Kill your ego before it kills you.

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    • I kind of agree with the ego thing but at the same time, I mostly chose not to interact while growing up. But now I want more friends so I am trying to get rid of my ego but its so hard when you grew up mostly with it

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