Is it normal if i don't want to be with a nice guy because...

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Im usually into guys who don't pay attention to me at first until we start talking. To have a guy who nurtures me, takes me out, is nice to me, etc, is really really different for me. Im seeing this guy who is treating me really good but I don't want to be with him. The reason is if I don't feel anything for the dude, I am not going to force myself. In other words, Im not going to be with someone just because he's a good person and it seems like the right thing to do, because basically I would be lying to him if I were to get with him just for that reason. If my heart's not there, then I am not going to bother. Of course I'd give it a shot but if my heart still doesn't show up, then what can you do. He needs someone to genuinely like him, not to like him because they feel it's the right thing to do. I don't feel like it'll be my loss since I wasn't feeling him anyways. I believe this is why a lot of relationships fail because in the beginning they know to be with the other is the right thing to do and they forget what really matters; your heart, your feelings, that's what's real. If you happen to genuinely like a jackass or a bitch then that sucks but you can't help it because it is real.

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Based on 25 votes (15 yes)
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Comments ( 5 )
  • Antares
    12 years ago

    Yeah I know a girl like you. As douche as it is, the guys and I laugh behind her back when her heart gets broken.

    Here's the part where it's your fault, girls. That playboy/badboy you met, his attitude is screaming "I'M A WOMANISER" and yet you start thinking you are The One that can change our ways. And when you catch us with another babe, you throw all the blame on us.

    Do you seriously think life is a fairy tale?

    After reading OP's "oh so deep" view for relationships, I only have one advice: Stop leading the poor guy on before everyone secretly label you as The Stupid.

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  • RomeoDeMontague
    10 years ago

    You are not going to fall in love with every good person around you. Some people in your life that are good to you are just friends.

    However getting with someone who treats you like shit can mean a few things. Some people are jerks but have some redeemable qualities so sometimes people will overlook their bad. Some people start out good and become dicks overtime. Some people are just dicks to start with and if you pick that kind of guy/women you have some serious self esteem issues since no one deserves that.

    No one is obligated to love anyone else. People do not understand this type of shit. Its not that you hate nice guys. Its that you are not going to date every single nice guy that has ever existed.

    No one should be obligated to love someone simply for desiring them. If a gay chick likes a straight chick not a lot of chance that gay chick will get the girl. If a straight female like a gay man not a lot of chance they will get the guy. So its not like its personal. Not everyone is a good fit for everyone they meet. People need to stop feeling so entitled simply since "Oh I was nice to you".

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  • Chillpill
    12 years ago

    I know where you're coming from and totally agree with your reasoning. It sound like other people are trying to talk you into dating this guy. Like you said, you can give it a shot and try to get to know him better, but if you still don't fancy him then and there is just no physical attraction, then there is little point in going out with someone. It would only lead to a very unequal and unfulfilling kind of relationship.

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  • Dad
    12 years ago

    Thanks for the rant (and difficult to read long paragraph)

    You don't need to use intellect to prove to yourself (or others) where your heart lies, that'll never work.

    The way you 'love' other people will never be logical. Its just you and what you like.

    By the way, re-reading your book, I hope you are not going out with an older guy? Seriously not wise for you until you understand and trust your own feelings.

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  • DannyKanes
    12 years ago

    So, your point is?

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