Is it normal if i avoid certain social outings?

I've been shy for a little while now. Back in the day I was actually pretty sociable and had no particular worries in terms of social life and girls. Nowadays Ive lost a lot of my confidence and now I'm not a great conversationalist and ill avoid social situations involving people I don't know well or if I have to mingle. I do have some friends but a lot of them are just acquaintances I play for a football team and those people although we all get on we don't hang out outside of football im kind of in charge of organising it each week making sure everyone can make it but this would literally be the only communication we have off the pitch. College same kind of thing really we get on but don't hang out outside of college ever. My only friends I do hang out with in my free time would be old school friends from about 10 years ago that haven't necessarily all stayed in contact with but I did reach out to some through facebook and I have recently started hanging about with a couple of my best friends from school we've only been out a couple of times so far but why is it so hard to persuade people to do anything over than go out drinking in town? there are a couple of other actual friends I have, one being through football whom I knew before hand but his life involves going out drinking and pulling girls. im not saying that's a bad thing but he is a little obsessed with the girls and I find it hard to keep up with him sometimes as he is extremely outgoing whereas im definitely introverted. My other friend ive known since school we've stayed in contact however we only go gym together but I'm worried with my new job we won't see eachother as much as I'll be working nights.

I haven't actually made any GOOD friends since I left school, most friends I have made since then have just been temporary. I browse online dating websites on a daily basis for women but when it comes to meeting in person I kind of shy away from the idea I don't have a clue why but I always continue searching as I feel it really is my last hope of finding anyone. I can't really see me sustaining a relationship, I'm always ranting and self loathing to family and can't hold decent conversation and my lack of confidence in general noone would find appealing, meeting their friends and family would be daunting, I would probably run out of conversation ideas and we'd both be bored. This is why ive used girls for sex a lot in the past (most fat or ugly lol). If they were too hot Id be slightly intimidated anyway but even average girls have standards hence going for the ugly chicks.

Even meeting an old friend that I haven't seen in a while or hardly know I don't feel like meeting. Even if I was to meet them once it would be just as hard meeting the 2nd time. It sorts of the avoidance that bothers me the most about myself, I know im quiet and maybe not the most sociable of people but I don't like to do things differently. How am I meant to change if I don't take these risks? I find it hard to be positive about anything developing socially or romantically just because of my antisocial ways. A perfectly fine girl is giving me attention online at the moment but after a few weeks of talking I still don't feel right about meeting and the conversation is getting a bit dull now. just the same things each day 'hi how are you? What you up to today?' That kind of shit plus her first language isn't English so it doesn't make it any easier. Not saying that's my main reason for not meeting but it's certsinly one of them.

I'm sick of having such a mundane life and would like to go on holidays etc but even with that I have an extreme fear of heights so I would be too scared to go and embarras myself infront of others if I had a panic attack on a cliffside or something. I was thinking of going on one of those holidays where you go with a group of strangers but the fear of heights aswell as the social side are the things stopping me.

Is this kind of avoidant behaviour common? In other words not going on dates with girls Ive spoken to online or meeting with people I don't know on an informal basis. Like I have no problem going to an interview for a job where I'll have to sit and talk but meeting an old friend who I was never that close with in the first place asks me out of the blue if I want to go out tonight and I have no valid reason not to I'll just refuse to anyway. Is it social anxiety? Or would it be quite normal for just a shy person?