Is it normal if i am hard on myself about being a good gf?

I've never been in a relationship, EVER by choice because 1)I like to be free, no restrictions 2)I have trust issues 3)I don't want to hurt the guy because I know I will cheat, I'm just really weak when it comes to affection 4)I don't know how to commit, part of being because I don't like to but when I try I suck. There's probably more reasons but those are the only ones I can think of right now. I've always had flings where yeah I was with a guy but it was just fun for a while then bye, on to the next. Oh! thats the another reason 5) I get bored reeeeeeally fast so again I don't want to hurt whoever the guy is by suddenly dumping him. But for the past two months and half, Ive legitimately been dating this guy and I've never had someone like him. I don't know if its because I never gave the other guys a full chance or because I've only been involved with d-bags (most likely the sec reason) but this one is something. But because I've never been in a relationship, I don't just want to go out with him already and f*ck it up and end in like in a month! Heck no.
Although I've been single, I have observations that I carry with me to prevent those from happening to me such as what is a bad gf, what breaks a relationship, when to trust,etc ahh I know it all! So much that I'm holding back so I don't kill it doing one of those mistakes! He's asked me out a couple of times already and of course I'm like not yet because I want to get to know him before a relationship not during like the majority! And I heavily believe he is genuine but sometimes I'm just worried its another case of the person being a fool. And that's it, I'm not vulnerable enough to "fall in love" or at least experience that good feeling of being with someone legitimately. Despite all of this, I want to be his gf already, it is about time BUT I'm scared it's going to be a FAIL. I know nothings perfect but I just don't have the balls to deal with all that drama. I can say I'm still not ready to commit but I want to commit soooo? where do I go from there? I wish I can just keep dating him but it's not fair for him cause he's just there waiting. Already dating him, I hooked up with some other guy and I felt really really bad like I began thinking omg what if he was my actual bf and what I'm doing right now is cheating. AHH I hate cheaters! but knowing me I'm hella weak when it comes to affection so I would dread being in that category. I know I am still single but I felt bad regardless and if I felt bad I might as well be with him officially.
Yeah all of this is running through my head as I'm hesitating to tell him okay now I'll be your gf. IS THIS NORMAL?