Is it normal i want to go to a counselor but i don't know what to do?

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28 Comments

I've been trying to figure some of my thoughts out for awhile now, and am not really getting anywhere. So I'm thinking about going to my college's mental health counselor to get help with it...the thing is, they have a list of things they counsel for, like "Stress, relationships, drug use, etc." and I don't have any of those specific problems! I just have all these obsessive thoughts, different fears and jealousies, that I want to reduce/get rid of. How am I supposed to explain all of them to some person I've never met before? I've been reading, trying to find someone who thinks the exact thoughts I do, and honestly can't find anyone! So it will be REALLY embarrassing and uncomfortable to explain it to a counselor. I have a feeling that once I finally start explaining it, I'll break down crying or bolt or something really embarrassing. Should I go see one or not?

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87% Normal
Based on 30 votes (26 yes)
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Comments ( 28 )
  • kingofcarrotflowers
    10 years ago

    Yes you probably will start crying, because that should be part of the process, it's their job, you shouldn't feel embarrassed.
    If you feel the need to seek help, take it.
    I feel the need to see a councillor too but I can't afford it,
    You should always take help when you can.

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    you know what your problem seems to be? you need a counsellor

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    Why not seek comfort in the IIN community aswell? Sure, we have some bad ones in here that will troll about it, but look for someone you think would be comfortable and non-judgmental about it aswell as a councilor?

    Some people in here would try help you out.

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    • [Old Memory]
      10 years ago

      **kicks groin**

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  • [Old Memory]
    10 years ago

    I've never understood what exactly councilers do. I've been to a few of them and have never been told anything I couldn't think of for myself. I don't see what they could possibly offer anyone.

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      Well either you've had bad luck with counsellors (and there are some idiots around), you didn't need a counsellor or you don't understand the point of counselling, which is often to have the obvious pointed out so that you can act on it for positive change.

      A good counsellor helps you think more clearly and decide what you need to do to change your life for the better: I don't recommend the social worker type who give advice or pat solutions, it's about clarification and then action.

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  • tripw7
    10 years ago

    Hey, if it's help you want and funds are an issue, I see no problem in using the counselors that are available at your university. They also have a "code of conduct" that protects you as well as them. Don't worry about breaking down, it's probably a natural thing anyway. Make a list so that you can explain exactly what is going on and how you feel about it. Good luck friend.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      Thank you! Yes, that's probably a good idea to write it down...

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      • Ellenna
        9 years ago

        Hey, I wish you well however you decide to deal with this!

        Try whatever feels positive for you and if it doesn't work, try something else. I've been battling depression for my whole life and some days it just gets too hard, so I have a rest, do nothing except veg out and eat whatever I want, sleep, listen to music, write, watch garbage on TV ....... and the next day or the day after I get out there in the rest of the world again.

        I've never found medication at all helpful because it all seems to increase lethargy, not to mention the ones that destroy the libido - what sadist invented anti-depressants that don't prevent sexual desire but prevent orgasm??? That said, some medications do seem to work for some people, there's no pat solution.

        Good luck, good luck, good luck - consider yourself well and truly hugged

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          9 years ago

          Thank you!

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          • Ellenna
            9 years ago

            Please let us know how you get on! I do hate all the unfinished stories on this site, it's very frustrating to be concerned about someone and then not ever find out how they got on later.

            xxxxooooxxxx

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            • Anonymous Post Author
              9 years ago

              I agree.

              Anyway, I did not end up going to the counselor. I think I was in kind of a rut when I wrote my original post. I think part of the problem was not socializing enough. I now have a different roommate who I consider my friend, which helps a lot. I have one good friend at school but I want more. I'm not clinically depressed, but I spend a lot of time pondering problems (my own and those of others) which leads to me feeling sad and hopeless. I think I mostly need more friends. But mostly I want a boyfriend with whom I could tell my deepest thoughts and fears. Unfortunately, knowing who I (or maybe who I am not) I am skeptical of ever finding him.

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  • Avant-Garde
    10 years ago

    Seek a therapist OUTSIDE of campus. The thought of university counsellors makes me iffy. Iffy because it is hard to know if what goes on in the session is 100% confidential and whether or not it could be used against you in terms of you being a student there. At one point I was considering this option, but then I considered the negatives. I much rather stay with my current therapist and work it from there. She gets me. I know that with non-university schools, HS and below, the therapists are actually social workers for CPS, which both can be a good thing and a bad thing.

    There's really no need to fear being emotional in the session. Your therapist has probably been through that many times.

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  • RoseIsabella
    10 years ago

    What you're describing sounds a lot like anxiety.

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  • handsignals
    10 years ago

    A 'College mental health counselor'!? don't worry, your not going to get any help anyway

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      Why do you say that? Do you personally know the counsellor at her college?

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  • (s)aint
    10 years ago

    Whenever I've need to talk to someone they have just kinda sat down, looked at me and some would comment my make-up or my clothes in a flattening manner and then they have asked what's up?

    Now the thing with me is that PROPER psychiatrists have this aura around them that tells me that they CARE ( Or they are really good actors!) so when asked this, i usually cry since I'm a damn crybaby and then I start in one end and talk about my problems.

    I'm that kind of person who gets ANGRY when I'm down for a longer period of time so when I've been angry for more than two weeks, I seek help. Then it's often enough with one,two or three sessions.

    You could maybe write everything down on a document and then print it out and take with you to the counceler and have him/her read that before you start.

    I too have issues with jealousy, insecurity and fear of the unknown.

    You can try this thing that I use to get rid of my fear of death when it strikes me: When your mind starts to wander toward "forbidden thoughts" say STOP! and instantly think of something else, something entirely different! I still feel a bit sick to my stomach for about 1-2 minutes until I've gotten lost in other thoughts instead.

    It IS really all in your mind and you have to try to find the things that works for YOU and what takes your mind off your issues. If you can't solve them, don't waste time on it!

    Also make sure to get rid of negative (toxic) people in your environment because they will sure as hell bring you further down!

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    • Ellenna
      9 years ago

      You've had shrinks who comment on your makeup or your clothes? That's totally unprofessional!

      I think OP is talking about psychologist type counsellors anyway, not shrink type psychiatrists who these days seem to be far more focussed on prescribing medication than listening to their patients.

      Your suggestion of stopping particular uncomfortable thoughts is a good one up to a point: it's essential to have a little list of ready of positive statements to repeat in your head. I used to actually put my fingers in my ears and say "Blah Blah Blah" when the nicotine addiction demon would whisper to me that "just one drag on that friend's lighted cigarette won't hurt" and so on .. eventually it worked - nicotine free for 5 years now.

      This can work for depression and anxiety because over time it changes the brain patterns (not sure of the technical terms but Neuroplasticity explains it all). Also physical exercise daily is essential - improves blood flow to the brain so that it functions more clearly.

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      • (s)aint
        9 years ago

        Well these people worked at a thing we have here in Sweden that's free for people up to 23 to go to to talk about anything so the people there are not that educated tbh, but they filled their role for me at that point.

        I really, really enjoyed your suggestion with stopping negative thoughts and I will totally try this next time my mind decides to play tricks on me. Will start with something easy; When I feel the desire to eat something I really shouldn't.

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        • Ellenna
          9 years ago

          If you can get hold of any books on Cognitive Behavior Therapy you might find them a help with techniques to change your thinking, because the negative feelings come from negative thinking.

          Good luck with it

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      10 years ago

      For some reason my earlier reply disappeared. Anyway, thank you very much for your reply. I have been trying that technique to get rid of "forbidden thoughts" and hopefully I'll improve. (:

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      • (s)aint
        10 years ago

        It's just to keep trying!

        I need to improve it too, especially with my moodswings xD

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          10 years ago

          Yeah, one second I'll be in a happy mood because I saw something funny, then the next I'll feel sad because I remembered a depressing song lyric or something. It's hard.

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          • (s)aint
            10 years ago

            Mood-swings then. I feel you. My happiness is exaggerated and so is my anger/sadness. (( Probably because of my ADHD and I refuse meds)

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  • dickwashington
    10 years ago

    yo im in the same type of postion you are except i feel like the counselor wont believe me or take me seriously i get so nervous around new people and it makes it nearly impossible for me to put my thoughts in to words i freeze up and completely lose focus and end up going of subject ive never had the chance to go to a consulor i dont know how i would going about seeing one or how much it costs or any thing like that you know what im sayin

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  • DubstepismyMJ
    10 years ago

    You want to get rid of those emotions, so yes crying and talking will be nice for you. Thats how you release those emotions and thoughts. Theres nothing embressing about crying, even if you are a man, its only human to cry.

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