Is it normal i've never been asked out?

80% Normal
18 Comments

I am 20 years old and have never been asked out, been in a relationship, or had my first kiss. I'm nice, smart, motivated, and have been told by others I'm pretty. I know I'm not a knockout but I'd say I'm probably a 6 or 7/10. I go to a very good school, I'm friendly, and I always seem to make a good first impression on people but I can't seem to find a relationship or anyone interested in me. I've been putting a lot more effort into my appearance lately and have been trying to be more out-going (I can be a little shy but if someone approaches me I can carry on a conversation with no problem). What gives? I feel like shit because no one wants me. None of my friends have this problem. I'm embarrassed to still be a virgin, let alone to have never been kissed. Is it normal to be so alone at this age? How do I find out what's wrong with me?

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80% Normal
Based on 137 votes (109 yes)
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Comments ( 18 )
  • kelili
    11 years ago

    Why are people embarassed to be a virgin? It's not a sin and it's not an illness

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    • [Old Memory]
      11 years ago

      Because our culture makes sexual activity the end-all be-all of worth and value. It doesn't matter how many people you help or lives you touch, if you don't bone, you're worthless. So goes the omnipresent and unspoken narrative.

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      • kelili
        11 years ago

        I would kill to be a virgin again

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        • [Old Memory]
          11 years ago

          Really? Why is that?

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          • kelili
            11 years ago

            To lose it with somebody who I know really cares for me

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            • [Old Memory]
              11 years ago

              Gotcha. Sorry it didn't work out that way. Prudence is the mother of virtue.

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    • geek_god_101
      11 years ago

      I agree.

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  • AbnormallyAwesome
    11 years ago

    Is there someone you wnat to ask you out? If so you should probably send some signals. Or be modern and ask him out yourself.

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  • Terence_the_viking
    11 years ago

    Maybe your aura is not one of confidence.

    Body language plays a big part in things like this.

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  • Short4Words
    11 years ago

    I am the exact same age, also decent looking, my friend told me I'm really likable, and he never lies about that sort of thing. I'm confident enough with girls, and can carry a conversation if I'm interested, but I chalk it up to exposure. I don't think I'm out enough for it to happen, maybe you aren't either but if you are maybe it's something else. If you believe in fate or anything, maybe he's just around the corner, I sometimes wonder the same thing. If we both really went out of our way, we could hook up with someone, or probably start a relationship but I think whatever we are looking for just hasn't showed up yet or maybe we aren't ready.

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  • Mezo26
    11 years ago

    I've actually never been on a date either, I'd love to go on a date with you. ;) <3

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  • stupidassholeguy
    11 years ago

    Dude, thats sad. You should get people to donate sympathy money to you or something. That's just sad.

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  • Shrunk
    11 years ago

    Same here, I had a little crush on one guy in school and he liked me too, but I only heard so from a mutual friend. There were a few other guys I assume liked me, but they showed it in roundabout ways and I was a bit too oblivious then. Now I wish I had been more open cos I liked them too and still think about them. Anyway i'm saying Maybe they are just to shy around you.

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    When it comes to male attraction its really very simple (as opposed to the cluster fuck of emotions women experience during the relationship/attraction process) We males are just looking for someone we have no problem spending time with, if it feels like its a chore then we wont be around long (well if the girl is hot probably long enough to bang them, but still not long).

    Basically all we need is someone we are physically attracted to and also look forward to time spent together NOT having sex as well.

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  • Silentnight
    11 years ago

    That used to be me, although I had my first kiss at 18. My advice, get out there more. Party up and mingle. Although if you want your first kiss to be special then I would advise you not to party because its usually a drunken kiss. But what will happen is you will get their number and they will get yours, you will text the next day when you both are sober and get to know eachother. But remember of course it may not happen every single time. And thats when you just keep at it until you strike gold.

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  • Unimportant
    11 years ago

    I've never been asked out, either. I'm 24 and probably a 9/10. Weird, isn't it?

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  • NeuroNeptunian
    11 years ago

    I had a person come on here and complain about how he hates it when people say "just wait" and "someone will come along" but he was right. I haven't been single since I was 14 so I don't know how it feels.

    I am 20 and I would say I'm a 6-7/10 and you want to know what I did until I got married this year? I always had no shortage of dates. I think I went through a few month spell after a bad breakup in which I was just dying to get laid, but after that I got into another relationship.

    I was always friends with a lot of guys. Just make friends with a lot of guys. Most guys want a girlfriend that they can be comfortable around and make conversation with but they don't know you well enough to judge that unless you're friends with them. So just do that. Make friends with them. A lot of them. Share interests with guys that have the same interests (assuming that your interests don't revolve around fashion, shoes and hollywood bullshit because then the only guys you might get friendship out of will be gay or very odd).

    A lot of Men are like hunters in that they will see a woman they like and go after her but a lot of Men really DO want real relationship (but aren't actively pursuing it) and great relationships don't usually just spontaneously start. Go out there, make friends with guys, make friends with their friends and eventually you will find one that you will make a deeper connection with and DO NOT make friends with guys for the sole purpose of getting some dick. Good, cool guys are usually more picky than that.

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