Is it normal i think we should give children a right in court?

55% Normal
15 Comments

In cases of medical and child custody children really have no say at all. Your parents dictate what you eat, your medical care and who you live with. If they have a custody battle it is the parents who have to fight over who wants you under a certien age. I think we should give children a legal right at any age to say "This is what I want to do" That needs to be listened to. I also think the children should be taken out of custody of both parents for all court proceedings. Since this is often used for the parents to manipulate the child. When in reality this is not the child's fight but the parents. This is just one case I mentioned but there is other situations in which it creates issues.

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55% Normal
Based on 44 votes (24 yes)
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Comments ( 15 )
  • wigsplitz
    11 years ago

    Their wishes ARE taken into consideration but it absolutely should NOT be solely a child's decision.

    And children should NEVER be taken from their family for anything other than serious danger, abuse or neglect! That's a horrible suggestion.

    Most people settle their custody issues quickly, and privately or in mediation...NOT in a court battle. This is not a huge problem.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      This is sadly not the case. A lot of them end in a custody battle. It is not always quick and painless and some even go on for years. I did not mean taken away forever I meant taken during the court battle.

      It would be nice if that was the case but often its not. It is often just a viscous battle. It would be choosing between them holding your children for a few weeks or the children being dragged back and force and parents using them to attack the other parent.

      I really do not think that is healthy for a child and think them taking a vacation while the adults have time to calm down and make the arrangements are better.I also think having the children away from the parents will let them fight with each other not fight with the children or using them. So the children will be safe.

      So these kind of issues would probobly be a lot shorter since the children are removed from the battle. They are not tools they are children.

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      • charli.m
        11 years ago

        Children should NEVER be taken away from a family when it isn't a matter of protecting their safety.

        It is much more traumatising for a child to be taken away from familiar surroundings and people, even during a turbulent time, than it is to live through parents fighting.

        As wigsplitz said, custody cases are mostly solved privately, NOT the huge battle. Once again, you are overdramatising something you don't to seem to know much about.

        Yes, occasionally there will be a big dramatic case, but it is far from the norm.

        You also seem to know next to nothing about children and their mental wellbeing.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          I am not over dramatizing. A lot of them are bad and do get out of hand. Most of the cases I have known in my life and heard of are all very bad.

          That is from people I have known and my self and they are all bad. Within my family and among most people I have known who come from these type of situations. I also do not think that custody over a child is small matter.

          I have never heard of or seen a case in which it did not go into court. Most people I know come from divorced parents. Divorce seems to be very normal now a days.

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      • wigsplitz
        11 years ago

        No, you're absolutely incorrect. MOST custody is determined out of court. MOST parents aren't all-out battling over it, most disagreements are relatively minor, can be solved in mediation and do not require a judge to intervene.

        It's not better to take kids away from their home unless there's serious danger, abuse or neglect. Period. Taking a child away and placing it with strangers for no good reason is ludicrous. There's children who ARE in serious danger and ARE being abused that need attention, we don't even have the resources to get to all of those who are in dire need, to suggest taking children out of their home for this is just *dumb*. How would you feel when (not IF, but WHEN) children get beaten to death, starved or molested because we wasted our resources taking away one of these divorcing couples kid instead of investigating a serious complaint? Not to mention the damage that WILL be done to this kid by placing him with strangers. Those are risks you just don't take.

        "They are not tools they are children." Yeah. So why are you suggesting putting them in foster care to coerce the parents into agreeing? Damage a kid, make the parents make a decision under duress not necessarily based on the best interest of the child and create more stress on a system with already not enough resources so that the kids who need it most suffer. How is this smart?

        If the parents are in a battle, there's going to be a temporary order of custody in effect. This provides security for the child 'in the meantime'. After the court appearances, a judge is going to decide ultimately.

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        • Anonymous Post Author
          11 years ago

          I never put them into foster care to force the parents into agreeing. I said take them out so the parents are not using them to attack each other.

          Since often the parents will end up doing A.Spoiling the children rotten to make them love that parent more or B. Using anything the child says to attack the other parent, or force and use them to attack the other parent.

          Some cases ending in the children fighting among themselves over the disputes the parents are having. It is not the child's fault the parents are fighting. Yet they often are treated that way.

          They will be dragged into the fight and have to choose who to hurt and who to love. If they pick wrong they are punished for it. That is horrible to do to a child. I have never seen any custody dispute that has not gone to court and I have known many.

          Not saying that a private resolved case has never happened. I have never seen it in all the cases I have known of. This seemed to be the norm in most places I have seen as well.

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          • wigsplitz
            11 years ago

            I know what I'm talking about. You do not. Google it, for fucks sake. Here, I'll give you a few freebies:

            "Contested custody and visitation cases are only a small percentage of all domestic relations cases. Administrators estimate that custody disputes occur in 10 to 20 percent of divorce cases with minor-aged children."

            https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=7&ved=0CGoQFjAG&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.mediate.com%2Fnafcm%2Fdocs%2FFamily%2520Mediation%2520on%2520Settlement%2520Rates--Symposium.doc&ei=dcZcUevrEJGj4APlooGQAQ&usg=AFQjCNEtda0uAJQGQ6kKgglHNiaLVNs8Fw&sig2=Ozsc-Qu1hDYdmd8OVtDCfA

            "As is the case with most child custody arrangements, the process of establishing the custody and living arrangements of a child will not entail a long, dragged out process of involving proceedings in a family court before a family court judge. Rather, through alternative dispute resolution, both parents can come to an applicable and mutually agreeable set of parameters regarding the continued care of their dependent or dependents. Contrary to popular tabloid media sensationalism, the overwhelmingly vast majority of the divorce and other child custody cases are not resolved climactically in the family courts, but rather, through out of court custody agreements."

            Source:

            http://www.lawfirms.com/resources/family/child-custody/out-court-custody-agreements.htm

            "Many family law judges require the parties to attend mediation before the case will be permitted to proceed to trial. Even when it is not required, the parties will usually attend mediation because it is typically the best vehicle for settlement"

            "According to DivorcePeers.com the majority of child custody cases are not decided by the courts. In 51% of the cases both parents agreed that mom be the custodial parent. In 29% of the cases the decision was made without any third party involvement. Only 11% of custody cases were decided during mediation with as few as 5% being decided after court order custody evaluations."

            http://www.divorcepeers.com/stats18.htm

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          • charli.m
            11 years ago

            "I never put them into foster care to force the parents into agreeing. I said take them out so the parents are not using them to attack each other."

            So...uh...where exactly do you plan on putting them? In a cage for a few weeks?

            Again, you know nothing about children. Or custody cases. If you're going on what you and your friends experienced as children, your view is going to be skewed.

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  • charli.m
    11 years ago

    In Australia, at least, I'm fairly sure that the child's wishes are taken into consideration, through meetings with social workers or something.

    I don't remember where I heard this, though.

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  • americanhoney
    11 years ago

    OP, are fucking retarded?

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  • squeallikeasacofpigs
    11 years ago

    Children are not adults and should not be treated like it. They can be bribed with sweets and toys for god sake. They cannot make informed and rational decisions like adults.

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  • familyguy63
    10 years ago

    Foster care system is broken,at least here it is

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  • Darkoil
    11 years ago

    My uncle has been in court proceedings for the past 3 years over custody of his child, are you saying that neither him or the mother should have had custody of the child for the past 3 years? Plus children are fucking stupid, who gives a shit what they want.

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  • ucipher8
    11 years ago

    If we give them a voice in custody battles we are giving them a voice in other legal matters as well. Like, "Its my turn to hold the remote tonight!"

    All jokes aside, i can understand where you are coming from in terms of custody. Sometimes both parents are absolute liars... Best we can hope for are Judges who can in fact make pass good judgements (if there isn't any money under the table that is)

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  • [Old Memory]
    11 years ago

    The fact that the OP believes what he/she is saying, is scary.

    Wake up and live in the real world, all "do-gooder-over-liberal-anti-thinkers" have the most fucked up ideas, and NEVER a plan on how it would work in real life.

    Their answer to EVERYTHING is "let them do what they want" without any indication of how to incorperate such ideas into society without making more problems, useless clowns.

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