Is it normal i think this caused the breakup and family to disown me ?

32% Normal
12 Comments

Hello everyone, I have a serious problem here and I need some help and/or advice.

Every since I could remember I had huge amounts of gas, and not the kind that you can use to cook with lets say, yeh you guessed I fart, and I fart ALOT. I was told that even in the pre-natal unit or whatever it is after you were born they had to section me off by myself since it was feared the extra methane was dangerous to the other newborns. Anyway, I had a hell of a time growing up, with everyone calling me Farty Marty (my first name is Martin)especially at holiday gatherings and family functions, school was no picnic either let me tell you, sitting with your ass hanging out the open windows on 20 degree (F) days just because the other students complain about not being able to concentrate. What the hell already? I told you I cant help it. So you'd think my parents would be sympathetic right? Nope, all we ate were beans, beans at breakfast, beans at lunch, beans as a snack, and a big plate of beans for dinner. What the f*ck kinda diet is that for a kid with colon problems? I get taken to all kinds of doctor's, procologists you name it, none of them seem to help, one even suggested I get a specially made trumpet and go on a comedy tour as "The Human Butt Trumpet" wtf already??

I am an adult now and the problem has just gotten worse, I dont eat beans EVER, but no matter what I eat I still have the gas, even if I dont eat anything I still have the damn gas, I recently tried going camping at a local national park with a women and the damn park service wouldnt issue me a permit because I was deemed "flammable/fire hazard", yeh thats right, they think if I build a fire and lean over in front of it then KABOOOOM ! all the sudden you got a couple hundred acres going up, and with the drought it would burn even faster. Well I never heard from the girl again either after that fiasco.

Is there any advice anyone can give out there? Is it normal my "natural gas" has affected my life to this degree?

Voting Results
32% Normal
Based on 34 votes (11 yes)
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Comments ( 12 )
  • ccjigsaw
    11 years ago

    This sounds fake. However, if you really arte farting alot, why not try something like "Gas-ex" And a vegetable diet will make you fart. Eating healthy causes you to expel toxin from your body (farting) so if you eat bad one day, then veggies all week. You get bad gas.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Its not fake, it has had a very detrimental effect on my social life.

      I was told by doctors that it has to be with the intake of air while eating, and that which isnt expelled as burping, finds another way out if you know what I mean.

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  • penpal21
    11 years ago

    I'm sorry, but I just don't believe that your first name is Martin.

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      Martin Clugsten at your service.

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  • lala(:
    11 years ago

    It may be because of bacteria overgrowth. Ask your gastro dr. About SIBO or candida. Although, it could be IBS or something else. Just read up on google by typing in your symptoms or try WebMD.

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  • Ryan556
    11 years ago

    Beans relly I'm on the floor no affence

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  • PurrrKittyCat
    11 years ago

    Read the bible, and pray to God. God heals all. If that fails, try Alah.

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  • thinkingaboutit
    11 years ago

    scatological humor is funny until someone gets hurt

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  • lalaaa
    11 years ago

    Try to find another doctor....your problem is serious and i feel really sorry for you :( hope you will find tratament

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  • Avant-Garde
    11 years ago

    Have you tried taking digestive enzymes?
    What's your diet like?
    Are you lactose intolerant?

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    • Anonymous Post Author
      11 years ago

      I havent tried that, mostly the diet is vegetables, I would include meat, but when I did it gets even worse :/

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  • Wüstenfuchs
    11 years ago

    I have a gas problem as well, but hardly to any degree like that... I think mine is due to the fact I never burp... The gas has to exit somewhere. o.O I get called "gas-bag" by my fiancee, and both my and her family pokes fun at me all the time. :/ It can't be helped. But if the specialists have nothing for you, I'd have no idea what else to say.

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