Is it normal i think texting ruined my marriage?

31% Normal
2 Comments

I'm not sure how to word this without going into a 14 page rant, so I will try my hardest to keep on subject.

It is much easier for me to put my emotions on paper or in a text. I tend to feel threatened or intimidated by my confronter (wife) and I either stammer on my words or, say something stupid I regret later. I am not an arguer, my thoughts don't come fast enough, nor am I able to think clearly when I'm upset. Many times I just sit in silence, screaming on the inside, and just use the oh-so-wrong response of "I don't know".

We've gone to counseling, which unfortunately was a huge waste of a year and a half, and a bunch of money. It just dug up things from our past, of which my wife does on a nearly daily basis anyway. The only thing that was discovered in counseling, is that I have ADHD, but that's a whole other subject matter, which I'm sure is related, but I refuse to use it as an 'excuse'

I'd better quit now....

How do I find the courage to voice my opinions without feeling threatened? How can I think faster and more clearly? I don't think any of the above is possible for me. I'm quite sure our marriage is too late to salvage, and in a way, I think I'll be glad when it's over. I have no money, no family, hardly any friends left, and no place to go, but I can't take much more.

BTW, we've been married for over 16 years, have two kids, house payment, car payment, etc.etc. Though I know it's not truly how I feel, I've gotten to the point if I had a place to go, I would walk away, leave it all behind, and never look back....

Is it crazy of me to (partially) blame texting for ruining my life?

I don't know how to fix it any more.

Voting Results
31% Normal
Based on 13 votes (4 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • pastor_of_muppets
    9 years ago

    I only read your post's first two sentences.

    You should play Jenga. Only Jenga can save a marriage

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  • reminiscent
    9 years ago

    Im not sure how texting ruined anything for you?

    But it seems your inability to voice yourself in a heated moment a long with im sure other problems that had ruined your marriage.
    maybe you just wernt ment to be with this person...and if you are unhappy I do suggest ending it.

    I dont think guys are good at pulling past events or examples up. I find I tend to win arguments because my bf cant come up with an example. Lol
    but we also dont argue a whole lot or anything.

    At best I would suggest written arguments for you both...like as soon as an agument breaks out you both sit down write stuff out clearly then hand the paper to the other person.
    writing things out can help you both express yourself and organise your thoughts...also while you are both w ritting you may decide that whatever you are fighting about wasn't that important and you csn let it go..you or your wife.
    my mom always told me to pick your battles. Its not good to argue about everything...and best to think ...is this really worth it?

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