Is it normal i think my parents are abusers?

67% Normal
2 Comments

I hate them but I also kind of still feel I like them, I can't really explain it but I only feel like that to them.

As a kid my mum use to hit me (even though she tells me she never did) and also called me lots of names, she also did other things but I'm to embarrassed to say. (Nothing sexual, more like using her authority against me and playing mind games) I hate my mum the most between her and my dad. She is also bipolar so she will be happy for a short time then become angry for no reason and call me names, this is why I find it really hard to trust her and other people.

My dad on the other hand is very negative with everything I do, and he also has anger issues (he says he doesn't though.) He's never really hit me like my mum but he use to scare me a lot when I was a kid because he yells a lot and he gets very angry. He also does this weird thing where he can make you feel guilty for something even if you've done nothing wrong, it's hard to explain but it's made me feel really annoyed when people around me are upset and I get really defensive.

Both of them also dramaticize everything, everytime my mum would go out she would be like in case I get in a car crash and die call the police or whatever. If someone was sick she thinks the worst of it and that we're going to die, even if it's just a fucking cold or something.

It's been really hard living with them and now that I'm older I kind of just block everything out, even other people and I act aggressive when people are showing they are upset or sad, I want to beat them up when they do that, I don't though and I know it's wrong but my emotions are fucked. I try to be positive but I just see the worst in everything, I'm suicidal and feel like living is pointless. I can't properly connect with people because I can't properly feel anything, I mean I can play along and act but if all the people I know dropped dead tomorrow I wouldn't care. I've tried therapy but that doesn't seem to work much, all I want to do is kill someone

Voting Results
67% Normal
Based on 3 votes (2 yes)
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Comments ( 2 )
  • severalchipmunksdancing
    7 years ago

    Yeah, you should dislike your parents. What they did was wrong, and you need to leave as soon as possible if you even wish to one day get better.

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  • (s)aint
    7 years ago

    Your parents are abusers and I´m so sorry it has fucked you up so much ...

    I thought it was bad enough to have friends with BPD but to imagine having to grow up with a parent that suffers from it ...

    I think you need to get away from them as soon as possible andtry to get proper help. Whatever works for you really.

    you are a product of their abuse at this moment, but you can become more with the proper mindset and the right help.

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